August 30, 1958
(In the presence of Pavitra and Abhay Singh,1 Mother recounts a vision she had during the night)
It was just at four o'clock in the morning, and it woke me up. It was exactly like this... I was apparently in my bathroom, and I had to open the door between the bathroom and Sri Aurobindo's room; the moment I put my hand on the doorknob, I knew with an absolute certainty that destruction was awaiting me behind the door. It had the form or image of those great invaders of India, those who had swooped down upon India and destroyed everything in their wake... But it was only an impression.
So the door had to be opened and I... felt and said, “Lord, may your will be done.” I opened the door and behind it was Z2 in the same clothes he wears when he drives, and he was leaning against one of those big tractor tires – or perhaps he was holding it at the same time. I was so dumbfounded that I woke up. It took me a little while to be able to understand what it might mean, and afterwards... Even now, I still don't know... What was I? Was I India, or was I the world?... I don't know. And what did Z represent?... It was as imperative and clear, as positive and absolute as could be: the certitude that destruction was behind the door, that it was inevitable. And it had the form of those great Tartar or Mongol invaders, those people who came from the North and invaded India, who pillaged everything... That's what it was like. But what Z was doing there I don't know. What does he represent?... The first impulse was to tell Abhay Singh, “Forbid him to drive the tractor.”
(Pavitra:) What was he holding in his hands, Mother?
Huge tires... He was standing there, like that, with a very majestic air. He was wearing his white outfit, those long pyjamas...
(Abhay Singh:) Yesterday he drove the station wagon for the visitors.
Does it also have large tires?
(Pavitra:) A little bigger than jeep tires.
No, it came up to here (gesture to the top of the head). It seemed to be a tractor tire, but it did not have the heavy tread that tractor tires have.
(Abhay Singh:) There are tractor tires that have no tread.
Ah! So... He was standing, and it came up to here (same gesture). So it must have been a tractor tire.
What could it represent, he, and the tractor?... I don't know... It was not personal, you see – I mean this body. It had nothing to do with that.
(Pavitra:) The industrialization of India?
I don't know.
1 The disciple who managed the Ashram “Atelier”: mechanical workshop, maintenance garage, automobile service, etc.
2 A young disciple who worked in the Atelier.