January 9, 1963
...How people love to bustle about How they need to bustle about in order to feel alive! Isn't that so?
(Mother refers to the “Bulletin” and in particular to the Talk of July 3, 1957, in which she narrated her symbolic vision of the “Big Hotel” in perpetual demolition1:)
But all this seems to me on the outside. I understand it may interest people, but it's still one of the things that make me smile. That's how I see it. Even this vision.
I have three or four of them every night, great visions, with all the complications,2 all the symbols, all the explanations. And I meet people... who are not as they think they are.
But it's tremendous! Tremendous how much you can do in a few hours at night....
All that there is to know which we do not know... (I don't mean outer things).
But it's very hard for the body to change. Because it lives only from its habit of living. And every time something of the true way of living filters in, then without thinking, without reasoning or anything like an idea, practically without sensation, almost automatically, the cells panic at the newness of it. So, you understand, EVERYTHING has to be changed. It's no longer the heart that has to pump blood and receive the Force, no longer the stomach that has to digest, it's not any of that any more – it all functions in another way. The base must be shifted, the functioning completely changed – but then all those cells are so anxious to see that everything goes ACCORDING TO HABIT....
Terrible. A strange difficulty.
If the inner being – the true being – is the ruler, the power of the true being makes the body act automatically; but then it doesn't grow conscious of its own change, it doesn't collaborate in its change, so for the change to happen it would take... maybe millennia. The true being has to be like this (gesture to the background, standing back) and the body has to do everything BY ITSELF, in other words, contain the Lord, receive the Lord, give itself to the Lord, BE the Lord. It does aspire – oh, it's intense, aflame – that's very good. But the Lord (smiling) doesn't conform to the ordinary habit! So all the habits, the minute He just tries to take possession of one function or another, even partially (not totally), all the interrelationships, all the movements are changed instantly – panic. Panic at the particular spot. And the result: you faint, or you are just about to faint, or you have an excruciating pain, or anyway something APPARENTLY breaks down completely. So what's to be done?... Wait patiently until that small number or large number of cells, that little spot of consciousness, has learned its lesson. It takes one day, two days, three days, then the chaotic, upsetting “big” event calms down, is explained, and those particular cells say to themselves (or begin saying to themselves), “God, how dumb we are!...” It takes a little while, then they understand.
But there are thousands and thousands and thousands of them!
You can't overdo it, because disruption is no good, of course! I've been observing that lately. When you came last time, I was – I was going through a upheaval.3
The consciousness is there (gesture, standing back), but... it intervenes only if it is absolutely indispensable. It's just that it tries locally to make the cells... (not understand, it isn't “understand” because there's no mind) have the right sensation, the right experience – the right experience – until they start saying, “Oh!... Oh!...”
Some panic. Some have already had a few experiences, they know better and see clearer, they work to adapt to the new vibration. But others have yet to understand, and they feel so stupid, so stupid! And from above, something watches it all and finds it both (both at once) very funny, because really it's exceedingly ridiculous, and at the same time so sad! It's so sad to see that EVERYTHING is like this: the WHOLE earth, the WHOLE earth! That this body is the object of a special concentration, a special effort, a special CHARGE, a special concern, a special care – this minuscule fragment, minuscule – and there's the whole earth, the whole earth.... And they all think themselves so wonderful, so smart!...
I could keep talking for hours.
Even now I have to proceed very, very slowly – not to go off at a gallop. I am surrounded by people who say, “Oh, she's seriously ill! What's going to happen?...” and they make things difficult for me. Because I still have to sweep it all aside with the Force: “Keep quiet! Don't you go making formations that add to the difficulty.”
You see how far we are from those romantic transformations where people emerge from their meditation rejuvenated, transfigured, luminous – oh, dear me! That will be mere child's play. At the end, it will be nothing: we'll just have to do this (Mother blows one puff in the air), and it will be there.
It's the rest that is difficult.
1 See Agenda 1, p. 104.
2 The yoga's collective difficulties.
3 During the last conversation, Mother had broken off abruptly as if about to faint.