April 16, 1963
(Satprem did not keep note of the beginning of this conversation or of the “personal” questions and the circumstances that led to the situation. It seems that X had invited Satprem to his place, in spite of their break, and wanted to continue with him the Tantric sadhana.)
From a deeper standpoint, what connection should I have with X? If I go there, there will be some interchange despite everything, won't there?
He may influence you, because you were under his influence in the beginning. He does have the power to influence you – to enclose you in his own atmosphere. But he cannot keep you imprisoned! That's not possible, you are beyond his grasp! So, if... (how can I put it?) if you can learn to receive his force without being enclosed in his thought, that's very good. Or rather to receive his force without being impressed or influenced by his thought – the thought is very narrow, but the force is very strong.
He does put you in contact with a peace, it's a fact – a boxed-in peace, but a peace all the same, a real peace, a concrete, concrete stillness. So the thing to be done (because that peace is perceptible I've had the experience of it so many times) is to remain very objective within that peace; then you can benefit from the peace without accepting its limits. You should, for instance, be able to keep that peace in the cells (the brain cells if you feel tired) without allowing yourself to be enclosed like that. There is no need to struggle, just remain turned upward.... It's very hard to explain. But maybe you will experience it, then you'll understand what I mean.
There is always a vibration subtler than his vibration of peace, and that one must remain free, without getting enclosed in the other. For example, if something pulls and causes a mental tension in the head, just keep in contact with that peace (oh, he does have a capacity of mental immobility), and let it penetrate you, but without concentrating all your being on it: allow the rest of your activity to unfold as usual in an infinity. It's only the vibrations of the physical mind that you should keep in that stability.
It's difficult to put it into words. But if you are able to do that, it could do you good, it could be restful.
My experience, you see, is that his mental silence is rigid – rigid, closed – but the mental substance, the brain's physical substance really rests, his silence can rid you of a headache, for instance.
It's a very, very material vibration, he has some mastery there.
(What follows was unfortunately not kept.)