July 31, 1963
Mother seems quite shaken and tired, though smiling as always
I've made a discovery – not positively a discovery, but a confirmation. A rather interesting observation.
There was a sort of periodicity in the attacks – can I call them “physical”?... They're not physical, although they're on the body. They didn't recur at exactly regular intervals, because the periods of time in between weren't always the same, but there was a sort of analogy, of similarity in the circumstances. And now I have come to a kind of certainty.
The work consists, I could say, in... either removing or transforming (I am not sure which of the two) all the body's cells that are or have been under the influence of Falsehood (not “lie” but falsehood), of the state contrary to the Divine. But since probably a radical purge or transformation would have resulted in nothing but the body's dissolution, the work goes on in stages, progressively (I am going very far back in time, to my first attacks). So the sequence is the following: first, a series of activities or visions (but those visions are always activities at the same time: both activities and visions) in the subconscious domain, showing in a very living and objective way the Falsehood that has to be removed (transformed or removed). At first, I took them as adverse attacks, but now I see they are “states of falsehood” to which certain elements in the physical being are linked (at the time, I thought, “I am brought into contact with that because of the correspondence in me,” and I worked on that level – but it's another way of seeing the same thing). And it produces... certainly there is a dissolution – there is a transformation, but a dissolution too – and that dissolution naturally brings about an extreme fatigue or a sort of exhaustion in the body; so between two of those stages of transformation, the body is given time to recover strength and energy.1 And I had noticed that those “attacks” always come after the observation (an observation I made these last few days) of a great increase in power, energy and force; when the body grows more and more solid, there always follows the next day or the day after, first, a series of nights I could call unpleasant (they are not, for they're instructive), and then a terrible battle in the body. This time I was conscious – naturally, I am conscious every time, but (smiling) more so every time.
I had observed lately that the body was getting much stronger, much more solid, that it was even putting on weight (!), which is almost abnormal. Then, I had a first vision (not vision: an activity, but very clear), then another, and then a third. Last night, I was fed a subtle food, as if to tell me that I would need it because I wouldn't take any physical food2 (not that I thought about it, I simply noticed I had been fed, given certain foods). And with the visions I had the two preceding nights, I knew that at issue were certain elements forming part of the body's construction (psychological construction), and that they had to be eliminated. So I worked hard for their elimination. And today, the battle was waged.
But then, as I had worked hard for the elimination, the battle was quite formidable – when it exceeds a certain measure, the heart has trouble, and then I need to rest. That's how it happened. But it was so clear, so obvious! And the entire process was SEEN from the beginning, every single step of it, it's... a marvel! A marvel of consciousness, of measure, of dosage, to allow the purification and transformation to take place without disrupting the balance, so that dissolution does not occur. It's based on the capacity to endure and withstand (naturally, if the body were unable to endure, that work couldn't be done).
And now the body KNOWS (in the beginning it didn't, it thought it was “attacks” from the outside, “adverse” forces; and it can always be explained like that, it was true in a certain way, but it wasn't the true truth, the deepest truth), now the body KNOWS where it all comes from, and it's so marvelous! A marvel of wisdom.... It puts everything in its place, it makes you REALIZE that all that play of the adverse forces is a way of seeing things (a necessary way at a given time, maybe – by “necessary,” I mean practical), but it's still an illusion; illnesses are a necessary way of seeing things to enable you to resist properly, to fight properly, but it's still an illusion. And now, the BODY itself knows all this – as long as it was only the mind that knew it, it was a remote notion in the realm of ideas, but now the body itself knows it. And it is full not only of goodwill but also of an infinite gratitude – it always wonders (that's its first movement), “Do I have the capacity?” And it always gets the same answer, “It isn't YOUR capacity.” “Will I have the strength?” – “It isn't YOUR strength.” Even that sense of infirmity disappears in the joy of infinite gratitude – the thing is done with such goodness, such insight, such thoughtfulness, such care to maintain, as far as possible, a progressive balance.
It came with a certitude, an OBVIOUSNESS: this is the process of transformation.
But this time, there was a voluntary collaboration, so maybe it will go faster.
I was unable to do my work3: the jolt was too strong. But I said I would see you because I wanted to tell you about it.
It's odd, when I am in that state, I feel as if to make myself heard I have to lift a staggering weight. I feel (for a few days now) as if I have to speak very, very loudly to be heard; it's almost like a mass... yes, as though I were buried underground and had to shout very loudly in order to be heard.
Am I speaking very loudly?
Because, with everybody, I feel as if I had to shout in order to be heard – and it's an effort, a considerable effort. There is a sort of mass, the color of brownish earth, weighing down on me, as though I were buried and had to shout. All the while I was speaking to you just now, I felt as if I were making an enormous effort to be heard.
Am I shouting or...?
Not at all?
No, it must be the thickness of consciousnesses that you're feeling?
Yes, it's the air – it's in the air.
And I was told something this morning (I think it was this morning, or in the night, I don't remember); it was said to the body, not to me. The body was told that it would go on till complete purification, and that AT THAT POINT it will have the choice between continuing its work or... You see, once it has attained complete purification from the cellular point of view (not what people call physical “purity,” that's not it), from the point of view of the divine Influence, which means that each cell will be under the exclusive influence of the Supreme (that's the work under way now), the body was told that that work would be done, and once it was completed, the body ITSELF, entirely under the Supreme's influence, would decide whether it wants to continue or be dissolved.
It was very interesting, because... dissolution means a scattering, but to scatter (that's easy to understand) is a way to SPREAD the consciousness over a very large area. So the cells will be given the choice either to act in that way (gesture of diffusion) or to act in agglomeration (Mother makes a fist).
It's the first time the problem has been envisaged from that angle, that is to say, from the standpoint of a general work.
But I don't see how the scattering... If it is scattered, if it is dissolved, the whole work is dissolved, isn't it?
No, each cell is perfectly conscious.
Then they would go into other bodies?
(Mother remains thoughtful a moment) What happens from the material point of view?... Do they know if it reverts to inert Matter, or what? Does it become dust – what does it become?
They're not cells any more?
No, I don't think so.
Then that's not it, because according to what I was told, they were cells – they remained cells.
It must be something new.
They remained cells, it was the cell that was given the choice either of staying in its present agglomeration or of spreading.
I don't know, but it seems to me they could persist only in agglomeration with other living beings.
Are the cells in the human body different from the cells in other bodies, in animals, for instance? Or are they the same?
Except for certain specialized cells, the other cells aren't different, I believe.
But the specialized cells must be the ones in question, because those in question are fully conscious cells – they are specialized cells.
So I don't see that they could go into animals, I don't think they're the same kind.
They could only go into other human organisms.
Maybe it's the difference between ONE being and many beings?...4
It must be something in preparation. We'll see.
So mon petit, I'll let you go now, because...
A few days afterwards, Mother added this reflection:
It is clearly (according to external logic) a new way of dying that must be possible – no longer death as we regard it. But that... for the moment, all we could say would be speculative, not a concrete experience.
1 A few days later, Mother added: “There is also something I left unsaid: an urgent need to cease all material activity in order to enable the body to receive fully – as fully as possible – the divine Force that will replace what has been removed. There is something absolute about that need: to stay totally still, quiet, letting the Force descend – permeate the body, rather. All physical activity must be suspended in some way, and if the material organization, or the habit, tends to make it continue, a kind of material impossibility, an excessive fatigue or discomfort, comes to oblige the body to keep still. Because simply to remove or change what shouldn't be there won't do; it must also be replaced by what SHOULD be there. Otherwise, there would be a dwindling or gradual reduction of substance resulting in dissolution. What has been sublimated or removed has to be replaced by something which is the true Vibration, the one that comes straight from the Supreme.”
2 Mother did not eat anything this morning.
3 Mother did not receive the secretaries this morning.
4 Mother means: between an agglomerated individual action and an action spread in many beings.