October 3, 1970
(Mother gives Satprem a calendar notepad, then a felt pen.)
What color is it?
The violet of power.
(Mother looks in vain for a green pencil for Sujata and finally gives her a blue one)
Do you have something?
(Mother goes into a long contemplation. Her breathing is better, becomes peaceful, but now and then there are involuntary movements of the left leg and the shoulders, especially the right shoulder.)
Do you have anything?
Is there anything new?
(Mother shakes her head and plunges in again)
Do you really have nothing to read me?
If you. like, I could read you my new book....1 It will be reassuring because I don't know where I am going.
That's good. I'll be happy to hear it.
(Mother plunges in again)
It's all right (in an unconvinced tone).
What time is it?
Quarter past eleven.
(Mother looks a few times, but goes away straight off)
So the next time, you'll bring your book.
(After Satprem's departure, Sujata tells Mother about young women of her generation, who do not have the advantage of being “close to Mother” or in the circle of “important persons,” and who suffer from never seeing Mother. This was in fact – which is why we record it – a very central problem at the Ashram: a sort of dichotomy between the simple elements who washed the dishes, stitched clothes or greased cars, and who were there simply with their love for Mother, and the “leading” elements, who increasingly revealed their ambitious and therefore warped nature. Yet it was with that thick circle that Mother had to work almost daily, and that is what made her difficulty, if not suffocation. With Sujata, Mother agreed to receive in rotation a number of those young and simple elements – unfortunately, that new opening will soon be blocked by circumstances: a new serious turning point in Mother's yoga, then other “impossibilities.”)
1 On the Way to Supermanhood.