August 12, 1972
Nothing to ask?
Is there anything new?
Oh, it's always new!
And you, what's new with you?
Nothing, Mother, I'm a little upset about my lack of consciousness during sleep.... I wonder what on earth I do at night!
(after a silence)
Does anyone see Pavitra at night?
(Sujata:) I see him almost every night.
Oh, you see him.... Me, I see him just as when he was here; and he's busy doing things – a totally conscious and active life. Last night, he was speaking to some people, organizing meetings, he was extraordinarily active.
Besides, he was among people who still have a physical body, who were sleeping, I mean who had come out of their body. He was so conscious! I've never seen anyone so... so materially conscious, I could say. Exactly as if he were continuing his work. Mainly seeing people, talking to them, bringing them together....
You know that when he died, at the time of his death, he entered me?...1 I did my best to prevent him from blending [with Mother]: I kept him like this (gesture as an individual form). And after he recovered from the shock, he spontaneously came out and started to work. I see him almost every night.
I've never seen anyone remain so much like himself. It's truly remarkable.
(Mother plunges in)
(Sujata:) But, Mother, how does one get rid of sadness?... I see him very often at night, you see, almost every night, but I am still sad not to be able to see him with my physical eyes.... What to do, Mother?2
(Mother smiles) You see him, but there isn't any contact between you?
We work together, Mother, like we used to.
Yes, Mother, but when I'm awake like I am now, I....
(Mother laughs) It means you are still quite young!
Yes, you are.
For my elder brother too, you know, he lived far away, I didn't see him, but now that he has passed away, I know I will never see him again in the same form, so I am sad, very sad, Mother. What can I do?
Well, that's strange!
I don't know, it's like a pain in the heart, Mother. I can't get rid of it, you see. I don't know what to do.
You must go deeper. You feel sad because you are in a very superficial consciousness – you must go deeper, into a deeper consciousness.
You mean in the waking state? When I am awake like now?
Yes, oh yes! It's when you are awake that you must try to reach your psychic consciousness.
When you are in contact with your psychic consciousness, there's no more sadness.
You're still quite young really! (laughter) How old are you?
I am forty-six, Mother.
You have a twenty-five-year-old's consciousness.
(Satprem protests:) No, eighteen.
It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter....
1 See Agenda X, May 17, 1969.
2 Sujata was Pavitra's personal secretary for thirteen years, from 1949 to 1962, and continued to work with him daily up to the end.