September 6, 1972
(Mother calls Satprem and Sujata in at 10:30 A.M. instead of 10:00.)
On your days, the Wednesdays and Saturdays, I see only the Ashram birthdays, but we're now more than 2000, just fancy! So it's.... I see the other birthdays on other days and several at a time, but even so quite a few people come on your days – next Saturday in particular, the 9th (a mass of people in the Ashram were born the 9th).
All right, Mother, all right, I get the point! [laughter]
So I'll have to call you at 10:30 instead of 10:00.1
What about you, are you feeling better?
A little better [a problem with an eye].
The world seems to be engulfed in a sort of violent chaos. They're fighting at the Olympic Games!... An athlete was killed by bullets.2 That's how it is.
Yes, they killed an Israeli.
Yes, the Arabs did it.
These Muslims really have something which is... something that must disappear, Mother. They're so fanatical!
They are very violent.
I don't know what universal trait they symbolize, but they really seem to be....
Force.... Well, they spend their time stabbing each other.
(after a silence)
You see, they firmly believe there's life after the body's death – the body's death to them is in no way the end of life.
They only believe in some sort of heaven, that's all.
(Laughing) Yes, murderers' heaven!
Eating is becoming almost – almost impossible. Nor do I have the faintest idea of what will replace food (Mother sweeps her hand across her forehead): I don't see anything.
Everything is becoming... I can't say a suffering, but a discomfort: a discomfort, there's perpetual discomfort, as if my body were made to live through every single thing that must disappear. Nonstop. From time to time, for a few seconds there's... (Mother opens eyes filled with wonder), but not even long enough to be able to define it. And it's very rare. Whereas the other condition is almost constant. Everything – external things, internal things, things in so-called others, things concerning this body – all, all is terrible, terrible, terrible....
That's certainly how Buddha saw things, and why he said that life was a falsehood and had to disappear – but I know better! I KNOW it isn't a falsehood. But it must change... must change.... But in the meantime....
Only when I am (gesture, hands open) absolutely silent within and everywhere... does it becomes tolerable.
I feel a fantastic Power (Mother touches her fingertips), but... also sense a little person full of... (how can I put this?) containing all the things that must disappear. As if all the negations had accumulated here so that I do the work, and I don't know who that “I” is anymore.
The body, this poor body, is not happy – it isn't unhappy either. It has a sensation of nonexistence. Everything it encounters, the entire organization of things, its entire life is the negation of what it sees as the... Beauty to be realized.
(Mother plunges in)
1 Which means 11: 00 instead of 10: 30!
2 In fact, a dozen Israeli athletes were killed by Arab terrorists.