March 31, 1973
So, what would you like to tell me?
First, how are you?
I can't hear you. Are you asking how I am?...
Yes-you “can't hear”!
But what does it mean? I can only be well when... there's no I.
I have been asking myself a question.
About that new consciousness. I can grasp (or guess) its contemplative or passive aspect, but not so well its dynamic or active aspect. I don't quite see how it ACTS – I understand the contemplative part, but how does it act?
I don't know. I have no idea.
But do you act or are you simply in...?
Yes, I act. But what exactly do you mean?... Yes, I act!
For example, when you are inside, in an inner state....
But I act much better than when – I appear to be inside, but that's not so. Everybody makes the same mistake.
Yes, but I fully understand.
When I am concentrated in that way, it's not that I am inside, I am in another kind of consciousness.
And it's vast, vast, vast, vast – vast.
Yes, but it's the active side of that consciousness that I don't....
But it doesn't have any side! It's a consciousness (gesture of pressure from above).... It has no side, it isn't passive or active – it's a consciousness... (same gesture of pressure) a consciousness pressing on the world.
You see, you're trying to translate it mentally, which is impossible – impossible. You have to enter that consciousness... then only will you know what it is. There's no active or passive, no inside or outside – all that is replaced by something else... which I can't describe.... There are no words for it.
But for instance, personally, whenever I try to go there, into that consciousness, my main impression is of nonexistence.
Individual nonexistence, I mean.
It's wide, it's vast, but there's no more person, no more individual.
No. That's not it.... For me, all that is the past... (silence). Yes, I quite understand what you mean....
(Mother plunges in)