April 25, 1973
(For the last ten days, all the meetings have been spent in contemplation.)
How are you getting on?
It's not easy.
No – it's more than difficult.... I am sorry, I thought I was suffering for everybody – but I see it isn't the case.
What would you like?
I'd like you to keep me.
Yes, but materially? You mean keep you like now?
(Mother takes Satprem's hands and prepares to meditate)
Are you comfortable?
Yes, Mother, very!
You shouldn't have any ache anywhere.
(Mother plunges in for half an hour, then suddenly moans)1
Sometimes, I feel like howling.
What do you feel?
Like a fire melting into your Fire – into what you are.
But what do you feel?
I don't know – the great Power.
Why do I feel like howling?
Well, I wonder if it's not me giving you pain.
No, mon petit! All the time I feel like that – it's not you, not at all.
Something... It isn't really painful, it's just... I think – I think it's something so new that the body is frightened. That's the only explanation I see. I start howling, but... it's no use – the only thing to do is stop howling and change.
Yes, that must be it: something so new that the body doesn't... know how to take it.
You don't perceive anything in particular?
No, Mother, what I feel is first that great Flame merging with yours, and then a kind of vast immobility – a powerful immobility.
Ah, that's it! That must be why! Yes, the body must be getting alarmed. Yes, that must be it.
(Mother plunges in,
Champaklal rings the bell)
Is it time?... Oh, mon petit....
(Satprem rests his head on Mother's knees)
1 Coincidentally, Mother's former assistant, who has a cancer, enters the room at this moment.