May 19, 1973
The last meeting
(Sujata gives Mother a pale yellow, slightly golden hibiscus with a red heart. Mother holds the flower without seeing it. That day, I don't know why, I was full of questions.)
What is it?
It's “Ananda in the physical.”
!!! We badly need it!
I was thinking about something Sri Aurobindo wrote.... In “Savitri,” he clearly says, “Almighty powers are shut in Nature's cells.” [IV.IIL370.]
In Nature's cells.
Ohh!... Oh, that is interesting!
He doesn't say anything else?
No, not on that subject.... The consciousness of the cells seems to be awakened but not the power.
(Mother did not hear well)
You said the consciousness of the cells is... missing? No?
No, the consciousness is there. The consciousness of the cells is awakened, but the power isn't.
Ah!... You said “awakened”?
Yes, Mother. Because had the power been awakened, there wouldn't be any weakness in your body.1
But it is THERE, Sri Aurobindo says it clearly: it is THERE, inside, within the very cells.
Yes, there's no need to seek elsewhere.
But how to awaken it?
Through faith, our faith.
If one knows that and has trust.... But you see, my physical, my body is deteriorating very rapidly – what could stop it from deteriorating?
Mother, I do NOT believe it is deterioration – it's not. My feeling is that you are physically being led to a point of such complete powerlessness that the most complete Power will be forced to awaken....
Ah!... you're right.
That Power will then be COMPELLED to come out.
Or else I could... I could leave this body, no?
Ah, no, Mother! No, Mother, it must be done NOW.
It must be done now.... You see, I am certain its NOT disintegration, not at all. It is NOT disintegration.2
(Mother nods approvingly)
You know, I have always seen that the other pole springs up from the most extreme opposite. So the supreme Power must spring up from the sort of apparent powerlessness you are in. By no means is it a disintegration.
What would you like now?
To stay with you, Mother, naturally.
Like this? (Mother takes Satprem's hands)
(Mother plunges in for about ten minutes)
For me, you see, the question is food. More and more I find it impossible to eat. Can this body live without food?
Mother, I truly believe that you are being led to the point where something else will be FORCED to manifest.
I can't hear.
I think you are led to the point – the point of helplessness or powerlessness where something ELSE will be forced to manifest.
As long as that point... of impossibility has not been reached....
Oh, it's almost the point of impossibility.
Yes, Mother, yes, that's also what I feel. I feel you're reaching that point, and something else is going to emerge.
It is not at all the end; quite the contrary, it will soon be the beginning.
I was told that the beginning would take place when I am a hundred; but that's a long way off!
No, Mother, I don't think it will take that long. I don't think so. I really don't think so. Another type of functioning is going to set in. But the end of the old has to be reached, and that end is the terrible part!
Oh... I really don't want to say (Mother shakes her head), I don't want to insist, but... truly... (Mother speaks with her eyes closed, all the pain of the world is in the shake of her head).
Yes, Mother. I understand, Mother, I understand Yes....
The consciousness is clearer, stronger than it has ever been, and I look like an old....
Yes, Mother, it's “normal,” if I may say so. We're going, you're going to pass into something else, I sense it – it isn't faith in me that speaks, it's something else deep down, that understands.
I don't speak out of “faith,” Mother; it's really like something telling me: that's THE WAY.
(Mother plunges in, she moans softly, leans forward and seems to be looking for something, then takes Satprem's hand again and goes off.)
What time is it?
Five to eleven.... Good-bye, Mother.
(Then the door was shut)
1 But everybody around would be flattened! “Smashed egos.” What I failed to understand was this infinite Compassion veiling itself... to avoid casualties.
2 I was fighting with all my strength against the suggestion of death that was in the atmosphere. That day, the “formation of death” was palpable.