My World: The Mother
I came to Pondicherry on the 17th November 1930. I was 13 at that time. But there is a story behind it. My father first came to the Ashram in 1927; he settled here 2 years later. He left the family without intimation and all the children were in great straits. We used to write to him describing our plight. But he was not opening our letters; he used to pass them on to the Mother. One day, however, an uncle of ours wrote to him mentioning the distress of the family. Finding the handwriting unfamiliar he opened the letter and was greatly upset by its contents. He informed the Mother and asked her what he was to do in the circumstances. The Mother told him: As you are touched by the letter, it is better you go back and return only with your wife's consent.
Consequently my father came back and stayed with us though only for a short period. Suddenly one day he again left us without notice and returned to the Ashram. This time I started writing to him that I wanted to come to the Ashram. The Mother was approached and she gave permission which was communicated to me. But before I could start I received a wire that I was not to come. It appears the Mother had subsequently enquired of my age and then remarked that I was too young to be permitted to come. But I persisted and the Mother finally said that I could come for the Darshan only. My relatives tried to stop me from starting in many ways. But ultimately I managed to come.
I arrived by the early morning train by 6 a.m. The Mother was to see me the same evening at about 5 p.m. in the Library room. I was informed and taken there by my father. I still remember the scene vividly. The Mother was clad in all white sari, blouse and crown. She was sitting on a high chair. When she saw me she was all smiles and a spontaneous recognition arose in my heart that she was my adhisthātri. I told the Mother that I did not want to go back. She replied that she would ask Sri Aurobindo.
On the 24th was the Darshan. Sri Aurobindo and the Mother were seated on the sofa. As I approached them after my father, Sri Aurobindo smiled. He looked simply wonderful — I cannot describe what he looked like. When I made pranam holding his feet he bent down and blessed. (I must add that each time I did Pranam this way he used to bend down to bless me. I add this because I learnt recently that was not Sri Aurobindo's custom with all.)
The day after the Darshan Premanand, the Librarian, came and told me: Mother has sent word that Sri Aurobindo is pleased with you and you can start learning French. Naturally I was overjoyed and started my French lessons with Premanand that very day.
Because of my age I was at first not allowed to participate in the soup function in the evening. But at the instance of my father I was allowed from the Darshan day, 24th November. I was given work with Amrita. My job was to note the meter readings in all the houses in a note book which I was to present to the Mother on the first of every month. In those days the Mother used to sit in the Pranam hall downstairs every first morning and pay the wages to Ashram servants. Amrita used to hand over the monies to her and the workers would come in a line and receive their salary directly from her. I would go with my book at the end.
After fifteen days of my starting French lessons she spoke to me in French but I was unable to follow! However I came to know that after I had started conversing in French she had expressed appreciation of my accent. It would even appear that Sri Aurobindo hearing my talk to the Mother in French had remarked that my pronunciation was good. I mention this by way of recording my gratitude to them for the minute interest' they took in my upbringing.
It was in 1932 on my birthday (22nd of May) that there was a memorable interview with the Mother.
MOTHER : What are your ambitions?
I: I do not know anything.
MOTHER: You have ambition to be a big yogi?
I: Suddenly I remembered that I did have some such desire though at the moment it was not active in my mind. So I corrected myself and said: Yes Mother.
She then explained to me what it meant to be a big yogi, to have large number of disciples around oneself. How one had to have a divine consciousness and a realisation of the Divine for that purpose. As I was listening I realised that I had none of those things and I burst out: I don't want to be a yogi. I want to be your child.
The Mother was pleased and said: Très bien (very good) and blessed me.
Then I mentioned to Mother my ambition to be a big writer.
She heard and went on to describe what qualities are necessary to be a writer and how one must have wide knowledge of so many things before one could become a writer. I saw that I had none of those qualifications then.
As I look back I am moved by the considerate way in which Mother helped me to see myself as I was and to give up vain ambitions on my own. I myself was helped to realise the true state of things.
In keeping with the spirit of Sri Aurobindo's injunction to speak and act as one would in the presence of the Mother, I started reporting to Mother in my note book everyday the persons to whom I talked during that day and the topics thereof. This continued for one full year in 1933. Occasionally I would ask a question or two and the Mother would invariably answer. Here are a few selections translated from the originals in French.
A friend had just offered to present a blanket to me. On my asking the Mother about it, she replied:
If one wants to progress in yoga, one ought not to receive anything except from the Divine.
Q: What is the meaning of this passage in the Prayers: What wisdom is there in wanting to live this way or that?
A: The Wisdom is to know what the Divine wants and not to decide for ourselves.
Q: Is it possible to acquire silence by intense aspiration alone and can one do the sadhana by means of this silence?
Q: Does all impurity—mental, vital and physical— disappear by the descent of this silence?
A: Silence cannot cure all impurities but it relieves a good many.
Q: Is my mental surrendered to you?
A: In certain parts yet, but not entirely.
Q: What are the parts of the mental that are not yet surrendered?
A: They are parts of the physical mind that are still under the influence of falsehood and ignorance. It is only a perfect sincerity in the aspiration that can illumine them.
It was the 31st of December 1933. A sadhika was ill and the Mother asked Doctor Babu whether the lady could not get well by that night (for the New Year function at midnight). The doctor had said it was impossible. I observed in my note book that if the doctor had replied, "If it be thy will, it will surely happen", then the patient would have been able to attend.
The Mother replied:
An answer is not sufficient to change the course of things. Only an aspiration or a faith can do that. For it is only the aspiration and the faith that allow the Divine Grace to act.
Q: This evening I have seized you strongly and I shall never let you go. I will never leave you, never, never, never.
A: Very good, I am very happy you will not leave me. Come for Pranam a little more in silence and quietude and you will see that you feel the force and love.
Q: How do I lose what I receive?
A: By dissipation, by throwing out—either in thoughts, words or acts—the force and energy received.
Q: This evening during meditation I felt something descending through my head. I thought it to be thy force.
A: What else do you wish it to be?
This is very good. If you persevere with sincerity — an increasing sincerity — one day the vital will be convinced and get converted.
Most certainly if you prove yourself to be firm and calm in your resolution not to be identified with the vital, soon it will be tired of its useless revolt and convert itself.
In this world all movements are mixed until one attains identification with the Divine.
Each one has his difficulties.
Q: What is thy aim? To transform the whole world and lead it towards the Infinite? Or something still more vast?
A: Unite your consciousness with mine and you will know my aim.
You will always find my blessings with you when you will be attentive and work hard on your studies,.
Q: How do illustrations (in journals) harm?
A: Naturally that depends upon what the illustrations are; but very often they are related only to things of ordinary life and thus they pull the consciousness towards that.
Q: May I have a file?
A: What do you want to place in your file?
Q: I want to place myself in thy file so that I may not go far from thee.
A: It is a very good idea.
Q: O Mother, when will I become one with thee? When will I live in thee, by thee?
A: You must want it with persistence but without impatience. It is with calm determination that one arrives most speedily. In getting agitated one loses more time than one gains.
The resistance, the revolt of the vital is supported by this bad force, otherwise it would have yielded long ago.
(I had written the following prayer in my note book and then struck it off:
O Sweet Mother, I pray for thy presence and. thy descent in my physical consciousness, in all its activity; thy will and thy knowledge behind all acts, all thoughts, all movements; thy ananda dispelling all the desires of the vital, all that is hostile...)
A: I do not see why you have crossed this prayer? it-is as if you wished to suppress the best of yourself.
Q: What are the conditions for the descent of the supra-mental in myself? I was very happy when I learnt that the supramental is going to descend in a measurable time.
A: These are things of which it is better not to talk. All sincere spiritual effort for the growth of consciousness is a preparation.
Q: Why are joy and love attacked by obscurity? I am not conscious of hawing done anything wrong. Then how is it that joy and love withdraw and depression takes their place?
A: No, nothing withdraws. It is the physical being that by its nature is incapable of keeping for- a long time the joy and love, unless it is fully governed by the psychic.
Yes, it is mostly during the might that the physical being falls into" obscurity and inconscience.
A: The movements of the consciousness are like those of a pendulum. The more it sways in me direction, the more it then swings in -the opposite direction.
Q: I have decided that on the day F do not study, I shall not take my food.
A: What a funny idea! You are goring to punish your body for a fault the vital commits? That is not just.
I think it necessary that you rest in the afternoon, otherwise you will be still more restless.
Q: When will I know thy will for carrying it out?
A: When you learn to be quiet.
Q: I have just heard that you are not well. What is it, my dear mama? Give me your illness I shall accept it with joy.
A: You are very nice, my dear child, but what you propose does not appear to me very practical.... With my blessings.
Q: I am sure that yours is not an illness as we think.
A: There is some truth in what you say.
Q: Dear Mother, how are you now?
A: Much better, it is almost over. My blessings are with you.
Q: When you are not well, I should not write much. Pardon me, I have not done so.
A: No, it is all right. You can write freely when you have something to say.
Make your love strong enough to conquer your desires. My help is always with you.
All my blessings at the beginning of the New Year; I hope it will bring you peace and strength to overcome what seeks to oppose your spiritual progress.
Q: Y. says that the supramental has already descended. Is it true?
5- 1- 1935
Q: My being says it does not know what this world is. Then why is it so much attracted to the ignorance, falsehood and obscurity of the world?
A: It is just because it does not know the world that it is attracted to its obscurity.
Q: I do not understand this: you are an eternal soul trying to manifest in a body. I thought that the soul is always in the body; there is no existence without its presence.
A: Certainly, it is in the body, but it is not manifested, that is, its presence is not evident and has only very little action on the life of this body.
Q: What part of the being aspires for love, peace etc?
A: Whichever part of the being (physical, vital or mental) that is open to the psychic influence.
Q: I think I see a hidden smile on thy lips in the new photograph, But R. says he does not see it.
A: Yes, the smile is there.
Q: How to know if there is depression in another person? One cannot judge by external appearance or by simply looking at the figure.
A: Certainly, it is not by the appearance but by an inner contact.
Q: This morning there is a great depression making it impossible to study.
A: That cannot be allowed. Force yourself to study and that depression will go. Imagine yourself to be a student going to school and telling the teacher: "Sir, I have not done my exercises today as I was depressed." Surely, the teacher would punish very severely.
Q: My being is still in a state of lower consciousness; gradually it is going worse.
A: Don't you see that you are thinking a little too much about yourself? You appear to me like an imaginative patient who always feels his pulse to see if he has fever.
Q: I no more feel thy love; it is as if I did not know thee. I think it is the vital that feels all that.
A: Yes, and also the greater part of the physical consciousness.
Q: What must I do to feel thy love and peace?
A: Do not allow, any more, anything hostile to find expression through you.
Q: Would you tell me what I have permitted to thus express itself through me?
A: When your vital revolts you let it express its revolt and even all its impertinence. But perhaps you do not know the value of the words you use when you speak French.
Q: I see that I lack peace completely. At one time it was there in me.
A: Consequently there is no reason why you should not receive it again.
Q: Some one told me in dream that on one occasion there was no food at all for Sri Aurobindo and Thee. I said to him that if I were there he could cut me to pieces and serve. Which part of my being said this?
A: It is something from the physical consciousness responding to the influence of the psychic.
Q: Is it a fact that at one time there was divine reign everywhere? Satyayuga?
A. Certainly not on the earth.
Q: Will there be no end for the soul? Must it always take a body?
A: Not necessarily. But the soul has to arrive at a very great perfection in order to have the power to choose between the return to physical life and rest outside the manifestation.
Q: Often I wonder how men can live a life without joy, peace, love. How do they exist where there is no Truth?
A: They are not even aware of their not being in the Truth
Q: I had thought that the soul is fully perfect by nature. Then what is meant by evolution of the soul?
A: The essence of the soul is divine, but the soul (the psychic being) grows through all the forms of evolution; it individualises itself more and more, becomes more and more conscious of itself and-its origin.
I know the inner movements without one's telling them to me. But to tell is good for the person who has the movements.
Q: I'have the faith that one day I will realise Thee.
A: You are right in having the faith; it will lead you to the goal.
Q: I think that your action changes according to my state.
A: My action does not change; it is your way of seeing that does.
Q: I will try to.keep calm and not get agitated.
A: Very good, indeed. If you try with persistence, you are sure to succeed.
Q: Why was my night yesterday so agitated?
A: No doubt you did not calm your mind before sleeping. One must always, before sleeping, begin with quieting the mind
Studies strengthen the mind and divert the attention of concentration upon the impulses and desires of the vital. Concentration upon studies is one of the most powerful means to control the mind and vital; that is why it is so important to study.
Q: I think there is a difference between finding your presence and finding you in oneself.
A: If there be a difference it is quite subtle.
Q: I do so many things that do not conform to thee. There is so much to do and if I go on losing time, when will I be able to do it?
A: It is a matter of will. You must cultivate and strengthen your will; then time is. no more whiled away in vain.
Q: T said she was getting ill.
A: Thus she purposely falls ill!
Q: What am I?
A: Outwardly: You are a child who is unconscious trying to become conscious.
Inwardly: You are an eternal soul trying to manifest itself in a body.
Q: A dream: A serpent bit me. But by mere will the poison was expelled. At last the serpent was killed. I could not have done this in waking condition.
A: Certainly, there are profound parts of the being which have more of knowledge and power than the physical being has.
Q: The mind wants to know which is the part that rejected the poison (in dream).
A: It is a subtle part of the mind which is in contact with the psychic power.
Q: What is the part that now aspires in me?
A: A part of the mind that responds to the psychic influence.
It is good that your mind is able to control your vital; it is necessary that this control grows till your vital has no more power to upset you and depress you. If you can remain calm, you will see I am always by you to help you.
Q: How to bring about the change in the sex centre and turn the energy into a creative power, and ananda pure and divine?
A: By an infusion, little by little, of the Light into the centre.
Q: I do not wish that others are affected by my depressions.
A: A very laudable sentiment; but the best would be if you yourself come out of the depression, thus you would not risk passing it on to others.
Q: I think too much of my own movements, wrong or otherwise. Hereafter I won't write to you of them more than once.
A: No purpose would be served by not informing me about them, if you think so. On the contrary, if you tell me I can help you more easily.
Q: Why did you give me such a serious look at Pranam this morning? What fault have I done? I am unhappy.
A: I was serious this morning because I want you to get cured, to come back to a more true and more peaceful attitude. You should never doubt my love and solicitude.
Q: One part of me says it is not necessary to inform you c of this incident but another part says that I must inform. I am inclined to the latter. What are those parts?
A: Both of them are parts of the physical mind; but one is submitted to the Divine Will while the other is not.
Q: One part is inclined to revolt, the other says it is better to submit than to revolt.
A: The same answer. The part which asks to surrender is already under the influence of the psychic.
Q: To know your will at each moment one must...
A: One must be very quiet within and very attentive.
Q: I like solitude very much.
A: Taste for solitude is, indeed, a very good thing.
What you have written in this letter pleases me for it shows that you can reflect and reason.
Q: There was again a depression, but it was removed by aspiration. Perhaps all hostility can be burnt out in the fire of aspiration; nothing can resist it.
A: Here again entirely true. My Blessings are with you, my dear child.
Q: There is some part in me which likes to help others; not to take anything/row others but to give and. give freely.
A: It speaks of a very good nature, but to be able to* do that without danger, one must have complete control over Oneself.
One does not study for pleasure; one studies to learn .and develop mentally.
Q: If I am able to give up my life without hesitation the moment you ask for it, then only my love for you is real.
A: Evidently that is a perfect love; but one can arrive at it by stages.
Q: Is my physical consciousness turned entirely to you?
A: This also is a progressive condition.
Q: When you were very young, in your infant stage, did you know you are the Divine incarnate?
A: I was conscious.
Q: All that I do is not in conformity with thy truth. Is it all discordant?
A: All is not in conformity with the Truth, but neither is all discordant. There is a little of one and a little of the other.
Q: What should be my aspiration at present?
A: To make the mind clear and increase the consciousness.
Q: O Mother, on this earth, is there none but we two?
A: If what you write is for you a living experience, that is very good.
Q: "Till one sees the eternal truth in itself." / do not understand the in itself.
A: I mean the pure Truth, without all the deformations that ensue from its manifestation in 'an obscure world.
Q: It is said that knowledge is already there within oneself. I believe the soul receives the knowledge/row the eternal. Truth and transmits it to the mind or the vital. Which is right?
A: I do not see any contradictory ideas. The Truth is received by the psychic which transmits it to the mind and vital.
Q: It looks to me that the victory is approaching.
Q: If there is an illness that does not allow one to come to you for pranam, is it not possible that by sheer resolution to come to you, the illness may be suspended, at least for the time being?
A: Yes, it is possible, but for that one must have a faith intense enough and without contradiction in the being.
Q: Often I reflect after doing an act. If only I could reflect before doing this, I could avoid many wrong movements.
A: Yes, it is a very good habit to have to reflect for a few seconds before acting and ask oneself if that action is truly useful from the point of view of spiritual life.
Q: I report my experiences to you in order to get confirmation in the absence of which I do not believe them. Since you have not said anything regarding some that I have written about, I take it they are mental construction.
A: It is rarely that a thing is wholly good or wholly bad. That is why it is difficult, at times, to say anything.
Q: So many things appear to be true from outside but within they are false. One sees it clearly by throwing light upon it. You alone can give that light.
A: Yes, exactly. It is very difficult to discern the true from the false as long as one is not able to see the Eternal Truth in itself.
It is always dangerous to form intimacies; there is always a tendency for them to become ties.
Q: I do not understand the difference between the supra-mental and the Divine in this passage from Sri Aurobindo: "The psychic is not, by definition, that part which is in direct touch with the supramental plane. The psychic part of us is something that comes direct from the Divine and is in touch with the Divine."
A: The Divine spoken of here is He who has been, all the time, in relation with the earth; the supramental is a new aspect of the Divine which has, till now, not been manifested on earth.
Q: What is the flame of Agni?
A: It is the flame of purification, the will for progress.
Q: What is the vital soul?
A: The vital soul is what the ancients call "anima", that which animates, which gives life to the body. One calls it at times the etheric being.
Q: Once I imagined and wrote that the external action of the Mother is not of divine origin while the inner action is.
A: You confuse two different things. I may assure you that my action, whether inner or external, is always from divine origin. The uneasiness you feel is no proof of want of divinity in the action, but of want of plasticity and receptivity in your mental, your vital and your physical.
Q: My uneasiness continues. It looks as if aspiration alone is not enough to get relief.
A: It is only a true humility that can save you from these uneasinesses — humility which consists in knowing that, at the moment, you are totally incapable of understanding me and it is a presumptuous stupidity to want to judge me.
Q: When I wrote again that I did not mean to understand, much less to judge Her and was feeling miserable, she wrote:
A: Do not torment yourself; be tranquil. Certainly that part of you which speaks now never wanted to judge me. It is in the calm that the being can unify itself around the highest aspiration.
Q: Then, which parts 'of my being wanted to judge you?
A: A part of the physical mind and the most material vital.
Q: Is it desirable that I speak on yoga to others who wish to hear from me?
A: I do not believe it is good for you to talk thus to people; that gives you, the illusion that you have something to teach them and it does not help for humility in yourself.
Q: "To bring the Divine Love and Beauty and Ananda..." (Sri Aurobindo). What is meant by beauty here? Is it what people call beauty — beauty in things?
A: There is a beauty on all the planes of being up to the Divine Himself. The material beauty is only a very poor rendering of that.
Q: Is it not inadvisable/or G. to speak to me of his sadhana?
A: That is not of much importance so long as you do not give him advice. However, as a general rule, the less one talks of sadhana, the better it is.
Q: What is within the depths of the being hardly matters unless it expresses itself on the surface.
A: What the inner being has is far from being without importance; but that is not sufficient.
Q: Is it possible to progress without encountering difficulties and obstacles?
A: No, the difficulties present themselves, but there is no reason at all why they should produce depression.
Q: What I write about the inner being must be all imagination, for I am not yet really conscious of it.
A: Your imagination is fairly correct, though incomplete. For there are many inner beings and their nature diners according to the plane to which they belong.
Q: What is mentalised vital and middle vital?
A: That part of the vital which thinks is the vital mentalised. The middle vital is that which is between the lower vital and the higher vital.
Q: What is to be done to prevent difficulties from producing depressions?
A: Become conscious.
Q: What is meant by the yogic term heart? Higher vital?
A: Yes, the emotional being.
Q: Is it not possible to surmount a difficulty without a lowering of the consciousness?
A: Certainly, it is even impossible to surmount the difficulty if the consciousness lowers itself. To surmount the difficulties, the consciousness must, on the contrary, make an effort and raise itself above its ordinary level.
Q: It is absurd that I get irritated against you. After all I do yoga not for your good but for my own. With this attitude all revolt, all irritations must stop.
A: This is perfectly true. Surely if you can remember this you will never have to struggle against revolt.
Q: To detach the inner being from it (sex tendency). Detach?
A: To detach, in this case, means not to identify oneself with.
Q: Is it not possible to stop the vital from creating difficulties by calling your help?
A: Certainly, not only possible but relatively easy.
Q: "When the central being has made its surrender, the principle difficulty has disappeared." What is this central being? The psychic? I believe it is already consecrated to the Divine by its very nature.
A: The central being is not the same in each. It is that which governs the rest of the person and imposes its will; When it is the psychic being that has this central position in the person, then all becomes very easy.
Q: I do hope you will rid me soon of all this obscurity and ignorance.
A: Certainly, it will be done in as little a time as will be possible.
Q: Mother, I call thee, come, light up the obscure part that has come up. Give me thy love and thy peace.
A: My love and my peace are always with you. Open your. heart and your mind to receive them.
Q: The vital must cease from all these stupidities and become wise. For this, I am ready to do all you wish. I hope to be able to succeed with your help.
A: Yes, you will certainly be able to do it. The part that has goodwill must strengthen itself till it has the power to govern the recalcitrant parts and force its conversion.
Q: What is the difference between the voice of the mental purusha and the mice of the psychic?
A: The psychic voice is silent, it manifests itself more in the form of an understanding, a knowledge, rather than with words.
Q: Is there no difference in the effect of the -voice of the psychic and that of the mental purusha?
A: Indeed, there is a great difference. It is much more difficult to hear the message of the psychic than the voice of the mental purusha. The latter is not infallible and can err. The psychic never errs.
Q: From where did the love and peace that I used to experience before come if my heart was alwas closed?
A: Your heart is not always closed. When it opens, the peace and love enter into you.
Q: Open my heart and set afloat, O Mother, the stream of love and peace.
A: Very willingly, my dear child.
Q: My vital being is normally under the control of the mental purusha; why is it not under the vital purusha?
A: The vital purusha awakes only when all the desires are mastered and the vital being is calm.
Q: When can one hear the message of the psychic?
A: When one is very silent and very attentive.
Q: How is the mental purusha to be awakened?
A: The mental purusha is always more or less awakened in are used to observing themselves.
Q: I take it that the love and the peace that come with the opening of the heart are psychic and therefore without mixture,
A: Not necessarily. Even though they come from the psychic, they can get mixed up with other movements less enlightened, when they manifest in the mind or vital.
Love and peace can come also from above directly from Divine regions.
Q: Is there no difference between the voice of the psychic and the voice of the Divine?
A: One can hardly say that the Divine expresses Himself through voice but rather by communicating a certain state of consciousness.
Q: When can the physical purusha awaken and control the physical being?
A: When the Light has descended into the physical consciousness.
Q: Cannot the love and peace that descend from above get deformed when they enter into the mind or the vital?
A: Certainly they are so very often; love changes into a kind of passion and peace into inertia.
Q: Are there other purushas besides the mental, vital and physical?
A: The psychic.
Q: As long as the psychic is veiled can one hear its voice without any deformation?
A: Little likelihood.
Q: As long as the being is not ready, can love, peace, ananda descend?
Q: What is the function of the purushas?
A: Read the "Essays on the Gita".
Q: What do you mean when you say, 'open the thought'? open the thought mind?
Q: I do not wish to take your valuable time. I shall not let anything hostile take expression in me; I shall not accept any influence except yours and shall reject whatever does not come from you. But certainly that is not easy.
A: Yes, but it will be so nice, good and useful! If you do that, nothing else will remain to be done — that will be entirely good. .
Q: P. says that there is nothing we can give to the Mother, as all is Mother's. It is She who has made us. I said I have so far not given anything to Mother. I have still to give all, on the contrary.
A: You are both right—on different planes; and it is only in harmonising the two ideas that one approaches the Truth.
Q: Normally I do not feel anything about material objects, whether they are broken or lost. :
A: That is wrong. Not, to take care of the material things which one uses is a sign of unconsciousness and ignorance. One has no right whatsoever to make use of material objects, whatever they be, if one does not take care of them .
Q: Now I understand that even in material things there is the Divine.
A: Yes; and one must take care not because one is attached to them oneself but because they also manifest something of the Divine Consciousness.
Q: How to know that the heart is fully open?
A: That is a thing which one feels and which one cannot doubt when it happens.
Q: To open the heart — does it mean to bring the psychic being to the front?
A: The psychic coming to the surface is rather a result than the procedure.
Q: Today the whole world appears to me to be at peace; all is quiet and it looks as if I am a stranger in this unknown world. I am not aware of things around me. Was it always like this or had there been a change? I am not sure if I have expressed my experience correctly.
A: I understand very well what you want to say. It is an experience that takes place when one enters into a new field of consciousness.
Q: If this is a good experience, I do not understand why I do not feel your love and happiness.
A: Happiness and love do not accompany all experiences.
The experience is only of an awakening of the consciousness.
Q: It appears these are the last moments of my life. I do not know what will happen, but in any case, my life will no more be as before. Something new is going to come soon.
A: I hope, indeed, these are the last moments of your revolts and depression and soon you will awake to the psychic consciousness, no more to depart from it.
Q: To live without Thee is to live in hell. I know nothing and I do not even question, for all is according to Thy Will.
A: All this is very good and you seem to have put one step forward. But you must be calm and quiet, a calm strong and full of aspiration, but without impatience.
Q: I wrote yesterday that there was a great calm; today it looks there is only a great depression.
A: There is simultaneously a part of being which lives in light and joy and another part which lives in depression and obscurity. If you turn your attention towards the depression, you feel it. If, on the contrary, you turn your attention towards the light and joy, you live in them.
Q: Let me turn entirely to thee, let me become thee. Thou alone shall exist. I await that blessed hour. I do not know if I exaggerate.
A: It is for you to make true, by practice, the ideal your mind sets for you to fulfil.
Q: What is my central being at present?
A: Most probably a part of your mental being.
Q: Under what conditions can the psychic awake?
A: It depends, upon no conditions.
Q: I feel your presence. In which part do I feel it since my heart is closed?
A: You can find me in all the parts of the being if they are open and receptive.
Q: The depression is increasing. You ask me to come out of it, but I cannot do so without knowing how and why it comes.
A: Try to understand and see clearly, then tell me what you see.
Q: Formerly I used to get rid of a cold within a few hours but this time it continues giving no end of trouble. Its reason is plain enough.
A: What reason do you see for it all? Try to express it precisely and clearly.
Q: I take it that my depression is the cause of my cold; it always pulls down the consciousness.
A: It is also a resistance in the brain pointing to what refuses to get transformed in the physical mind.
Q: I attribute the depression to the obscure parts of my being preventing the consciousness from uplifting itself. May be also it is ambition pulling the consciousness to the ordinary life.
A: Both are true.
Q: The psychic consciousness is the part by which one enters into the divine consciousness. Once one has the psychic consciousness, it is easy to get the divine consciousness
Q: It is only when one has the psychic consciousness that effort disappears and life becomes harmonious, full of beauty, divinity.
Q: I believe that it is only when the psychic comes to tire surface and acts that one has the psychic consciousness.
A: Or when one interiorises oneself sufficiently to enter into contact with one's psychic being.
Q: Then what should I do to overcome the resistance of the physical mind—it obstructs and its pressure is always there.
A: You must first of all detach yourself from it, not identify yourself with its movements.
Q: Would you tell me something about the obscure parts of my vital? I do not know how they pull my consciousness, how they act on the physical plane.
A: It is through the organs of sense (sight, hearing etc.) that they are in relation with the material plane.
Q: How to conquer the subconscient?
A: By advancing step by step, attentively observing with the light of consciousness.
All that one does with care becomes necessarily interesting.
Q: I have no more hope of psychic consciousness. I do not understand what is happening.
A: Do not torment yourself, be quiet and peaceful. Little by little, the consciousness will grow.
I have told you already, and I repeat it, you cannot understand with mental agitation. You must keep the mind absolutely quiet. It is only in quietude that the light can penetrate without resistance.
Q: The depressions come everyday. I do not know what to do.
A: The only unfailing way to get rid of depressions is to divert one's attention from them and not to give them any importance.
Q: I fail to understand why people seek the help of others who are themselves imperfect.
A: They understand them better because they are nearer to them.
Q: My nights are disturbed. I feel fatigued in the mourning; there is obscurity all round. How long will this continue?
A: Certainly it is not by getting agitated or impatient that the Wrong movement will pass soon. On the contrary, if you can remain a little calm within you will be sooner. out of your difficulties.
It is only in calm that one can enter into touch with the psychic consciousness.
Q: Is my life long to continue for ever in this unhapppy way as at present?
A: I certainly hope not. But if you remain a little more peaceful inwardly, your boredoms will end sooner.
Q: I hope to be thy child and nothing else; I do not want to lose time.
A: You are my child; you have only to become conscious of it. I bless you, my dear child.
Q: When will people cease idling away their time and gossiping? Why don't they understand?
A: Because they are still mentally too young.
Q: Remove from me the depression and fill my being with a supreme felicity.
A: You ought to be able to come out of your depression, to keep away from it and take refuge in a more harmonious consciousness.
Q: I aspire to have the psychic consciousness which would prevent me from wrong movements.
A: In the absence of the psychic, an enlightened mind can prevent the vital from its stupidities.
Q: Why does not the spiritual consciousness stay always?
A: Because the ordinary consciousness chases it out.
Q: The part which tells me, "unite yourself with the Divine", is it already united?
A: Not necessarily , but it can have had a little experience of the Divine Reality.
Q: What is to be done so that the ordinary consciousness does not chase out the spiritual?
A: Remembrance of it always and in all circumstance.
I do not believe much in pure love among human beings.
Q: What do you mean by "spiritual consciousness"?
A: In a general way, the consciousness that is turned towards the Divine.
Q: "When we have passed beyond individualising then we shall be real Persons." " When we have passed beyond humanity, then we shall be the Man." (Sri Aurobindo: Thoughts and Glimpses) What is the difference between Person and Man?
A: A Person is a being fully conscious and individualised (not necessarily a man). The gods are persons. Man is he who still belongs to animality.
Affinities are almost instinctive and do not have much importance. One has only to take care that they do not turn into attachments.
Each one has his qualities and his defects.
Only he who seeks the Truth integrally does yoga. Those who do it in the mind alone or in the higher vital alone are not in yoga.
Things are not so strictly cut out. One may have commenced the yoga in some part of his being while the rest — the other parts of his being — still refuse to be transformed.
Almost all persons descend to their most ordinary consciousness when they enter into contact with others.
It is better, evidently, not to lay stress on the dark side of things.
Q: What should I do to remain in my central consciousness and not to go down to the ordinary when I meet others?
A: Never to forget the Divine Presence.
Q: P. says that you change according to her condition.
A: No, I do not change according to the state of the people. It is their impression of me that changes with their mood of the moment.
To be in peace is good. You must not risk spoiling it by speaking of this state.
It is desire and revolt which prevent the vital from feeling the Presence; but the fact that you do not feel it is no proof at all that it is not there.
Q: What did you say this morning during Pranam?
A: That it is very easy to convert the vital if the will is not divided.
Q: Today I felt thy Presence and closeness. But I feel it no more now. I think the atmosphere of somebody from outside has spoilt it.
A: The loss of the experience is most probably due to the intrusion of a foreign force.
Q: What is to be done to prevent a foreign force from entering into us whenever there is a good experience?
A: A foreign and undesirable force does not always enter into us every time we have a good experience; on the contrary, the good experience ought to give the necessary force to repel the foreign force when it tries to enter.
Q: If; I do not understand what one gains by telling lies.
A: Certainly, one gains nothing by lying, on the contrary one obscures the consciousness.
Q: I do not see anywhere any superhuman life, the divine life.
A: If your consciousness were superhuman, divine or even spiritual, you would see this same consciousness everywhere.
It is only in inner peace that your consecration can become perfect.
Q: I have headaches. Perhaps I should stop thinking of sadhana, I do not see any other way of keeping peace.
A: It is certainly not the sadhana which hinders the inner peace; on the contrary, since the sadhana is entirely based upon this inner peace which is the essential condition for progress. Certainly a patient concentration is necessary for entering into contact with the psychic consciousness.
Q: What hinders the inner peace?
A: Mental and vital restlessness.
Q: I do not know why obscurity sets in so often and remains long. It was not so before. Does it mean that I have deteriorated?
A: No, you have become more conscious. Formerly there was much more obscurity but you were not conscious of it. It did not appear to you as obscurity.
Q: There is no more peace, love and energy to work. Through what state am I passing?
A: A period of transition in which you have become more conscious but have not yet acquired control.
Q: In which part is this obscurity and how long will it remain?
A: Especially in the physical consciousness—till the physical is illumined.
Q: What should I do to get illumined the physical and the vital which, I suppose, is also equally obscure?
A: Prefer always light to obscurity.
Q: Are there many persons in the Ashram who do no believe that you are the Divine Incarnate?
A: I have made no enquiry on the subject.
Q: Is it true that you will disappear one day? A: Who has told of this extraordinary thing?
Q: The obscurity must go. I am prepared to do anything you wish. Let it evaporate.
A: I am there and I cast on you all the light needed to dissolve the obscurity no matter which. It is for you to receive it.
A: Does not bring it positively but it is in that one receives.
Q: S. tells me contradictory things; how can one trust her?
A: Only those who have the inner vision and the knowledge of Truth, have a judgment in which one can have confidence.
Q: Can silence bring me the force to correct my error and soar towards Thee?
A: Of course if in the silence there is a sincere aspiration.
Q: Tell me why I love Thee.
A: It is your psychic being – like all psychic beings- that loves me.
Q: All have psychic being; why then do not all love Thee?
A: Either because they are not conscious of their psychic being or they do not know me.
Psychic love never bargains; but the vital always tries draw some profit from all circumstances.
Q: Is it that only my psychic being loves Thee and no other part?
A: In the measure in which the mind, the vital and the physical are under the control of the psychic being, they also love me.
Repose is not necessarily a cessation of inner effort.
Q: Do you think there might be some redoubtable difficulties which would make me give up yoga?
A: I do not think so.
Q: We saw H. making extraordinary progress; in spite of all that he disobeyed Thee. I ask this in order to be sure of myself.
A: I do not think so.
Q: We saw H. making extraordinary progress; in spite of all that he disobeyed Thee. I ask this in order to be sure of myself.
A: You have had no past before coming here. It is H.’s past that stands in his way.
Q: I am yours; what I have to fear?
A: Certainly you have nothing to fear.
Q: I am afraid of the old ambition to be a yogi, though it is much less now.
A: Since you are conscious of the danger, why not conquer it?
Q: Can the subconscient reject an attained union with the Divine?
A: A part of the being may have attained union (naturally partial) and another part remain in its obscurity and ignorance.
Q: Anyway I have no fear; you are leading me.
A: Yes, if you are sincere in your aspiration and your will to reach this goal.
Q: What attitude should I have so that nothing may harm me?
A: Perfect detachment, equality of soul, disinterestedness.
A: The solution of the problem does not lie in mental rules but in a conscious union with the Divine Will and in a constant perception of the Truth.
Q: One must not kill animals that do not harm. It follows that one must kill all those that do harm.
Q: In our yoga, what is the right attitude towards animals?
A: It is only when one has attained the consciousness of the divine Unity that one can have the right attitude. In the meanwhile it is always good to act towards the animals with respect, love and compassion.
Q: But then should not injurious insects be killed?
A: Without any doubt.
Q: What is the way to get out of the obsession of pain when it is too much?
A: Look at a beautiful flower.
Q: But when the pain is too much even the flower looks poor.
A: That would be the proof of a total slavery to the vital part that suffers. You must learn to bifurcate yourself and detach from external and inferior movements.
Q: Not to be able to watch the suffering of others but to flee is a weakness.
A: If one has not the means, moral or material to relieve them, I do not see what purpose it can serve to watch them. 16-6-1935
One must be capable of giving all in order to learn to possess truly.
Q: It is by wish that one attains beatitude. Without wishing one gets nothing.
A: No. The desire is useful only at the beginning of the evolution to awake the consciousness out of its torpor, but it is not desire that can lead towards Beatitude; that is the result of self-giving.
The ego is a help as long as it helps to form the physical individuality, but when it is formed the ego ought to disappear.
Humanity such as it is actually, is still in the animal stage; one must, then, pass beyond this ordinary human state to become a true man capable of being conscious of the Divine.
Q: Is there a thing called hell?
A: Yes , there are hells formed by human thought and they exists in certain regions of the vital worlds.
Q: Does one suffer torments of hell after death?
A: Yes, if one believes in it
It is during the physical life on earth that one has occasion to purify oneself and to make spiritual progress
Q: How can one suffer after one is dead?
A: It is the vital that feels the suffering; and the vital being is not destroyed with the body.
Q: There seems to be something extraordinary in the atmosphere of the Ashram or at least in mine. But my depression continues in spite of all effort, aspiration and calm. I do not know which way to turn.
A: I do not believe that things are as you say; in any case, as far as you are concerned, the best for you is not to torment yourself and to aspire peacefully till your difficulties disappear.
It is always the resistance that creates the confusion.
Q: Why has my condition become so dry? Have I lost my way or is it a test?
A: What do you mean by test? Surely it is not a thing arbitrarily imposed upon you. The state in which you find yourself is always the normal result of your way of thinking, feeling and acting.
Q: I anticipate something hostile coming to me.
A: To anticipate a bad thing is useful only if one uses that anticipation to repulse the bad thing.
Q: Something bad is going to happen to me. I do not know how and when. How to repel it?
A: You can simply repulse the thought that something bad is going to come.
Q: Anyway I cannot leave this yoga. I prefer death to giving up yoga.
A: There is no question of your giving up yoga and I am pretty sure you will not do it. There is also no reason whatever for you to die. You will live and live for the Divine.
Q: Surely I do not want to leave thee, but what shall I do? Someone takes me away from thee.
A: Do not obey this "someone".
Q: How to conquer ambition which continues in spite of the knowledge of the Truth?
A: Learn to see the vanity of these fugitive and hollow satisfactions.
Q: Is it possible for the psychic to control the being without coming to the front?
A: "To control the being" and "to come to the front" are two terms for the same thing.
Q: My mind says that in my previous life I failed in my effort for integral transformation. What is the surety that it would not be the same this time also?
A: Because in the last birth the moment had not come when integral transformation was possible. .
Q: You said that my mind, vital and physical beings are controlled in a certain measure by the psychic. Does it mean that the psychic has come to the front?
A: All depends upon the measure of control. However, I do not think I wrote that this control is over the vital and the physical, but only on a part of the mind.
Q: Will my integral transformation be accomplished in this very birth?
A: This is not the time to reply to this question.
Q: Was I always with you in my previous lives?
A: The same; this is not the moment to reply to this question either.
I meant to say this control is directly over a part of the mind and through the mind over other parts of the being in the measure of their receptivity.
Ghosts exist most often in the imagination of people.
As for vital beings, if we have no fear they can do no harm. And with the divine protection what fear can one" have? None.
Love and peace have not left you; it is you who see them no more. Most probably it is again the same force you speak of that tries to blind you.
Q: What is that force?
A: An adverse will that sends the suggestions. You must not believe its suggestions. That is all.
Naturally the more you will be yourself pure, luminous and unselfish, the more your actions will become effective and certain. My blessings and my light are with you.
Q: You say that a hostile will sends suggestions. But I see neither that will nor am I conscious of these suggestions. Will you please explain to me?
A: How do you say you are not conscious when you yourself write: "But often someone makes me blind and I do not see thy light." What you call "someone" is what I call the adverse suggestions.
Q: I see only the result of those suggestions but not how they enter, how I receive them. I wish to know the process.
A: It: makes a mental formation in affinity with the mentality of the person to be influenced. This formation remains in the mental atmosphere of the person in question and enters on the least occasion. If the person is not conscious enough or vigilant, he becomes conscious of that formation only when it has entered the brain and then he takes this formation for his own thought.
I think there is nothing to be worried about. You are not farther away from me than you ever were. There are always the same parts of your being which refuse to participate in the divine life; formerly you were not conscious but now, on the contrary, you have become more and more conscious, and the consciousness is a real progress, it is the way leading \you to mastery.
Q: Then what should I do so that the lower parts participate in the divine life .
A: Educate them as you would educate the child.
Q: I know that what you do is always for my good.
A: Yes, in my action upon you it is exclusively your good that I see.
Q: I will feel you so near, so near that.
A: All the victories will be easy for me
Q: Without haste, without agitation, I aspire for this reign over me
A: It is good, and my help and blessings are always with you in your aspiration.
Q: Mother, what have I given to you this time?
A: Do you not know it yourself?
Q: Was it good for me to have gone for music at D.'s?
A: It is riot very useful to ask questions regarding things already done. If the effect has been bad, get over them; if good, keep them.
Q: P. says she is afraid of you. I do not understand the reason.
A: Nor do I.
Q: When will I have the realisation of the Peace and Silence that I want so much?
A: Do not lose patience, it will come.
Q: If P. has fear of you, how can she progress?
A: Certainly fear is a great obstacle on the path.
Q: All that I see around me surprises me. Where am I, O, Mother?
A: On the earth.
Q: What kind of liberty does P. seek? What does she find here as prison?
A: It is her vital that complains.
Q: Are we here to do yoga or to have full liberty to indulge in desires and ambitions?
A: This pretentious liberty which the vital claims is not at all liberty; it is slavery to desires and lower impulses.
Q: Mother, how can you like to stay here amidst this terrible obscurity and ignorance?
A: I am on earth because it is on earth that the Divine Work is to be done and not for any other reason.
Q: The whole world is suffering from ignorance and obscurity. When will the Light descend and remove all that?
A: Soon, I hope.
Q: Is it not true that barring a few exceptions, it is not easy for you to work as you wish in each person? There is always some resistance, some revolt.
A: Surely in almost all there is resistance and in many revolt.
Q: What should I do to let you work in me as you please? , Do I not know it?
A: You know it, don't you? All that remains is to do it.
Q: Let us advance, advance always without falling backwards.
A: Yes, one must always go ahead.
Q: Formerly I used to have periods of happiness, peace and love. But I do not have them for sometime past. Why is it so?
A: In the children the psychic is often very much on the surface and makes the child happy and peaceful. As one grows, and the vital and the mind develop and take more importance, there begin the miseries and sorrow.
Q: This time I am not going to yield to the vital. I shall do my best to remain on yourside.
A: Keep this attitude and we will be sure of imminent success.
Q: Y. believes that his depression has come with your consent.
A: That is completely absurd. My will is, on the Contrary, that each may advance always peacefully and regularly without ever falling back into lower states.
Q: P. says she is here as if in prison; she has no freedom with you.
A: I never put anyone in prison.
Q: P. insists on going into solitude. She says Sri Aurobindo would approve (though Mother's reply is different).
(To this Sri Aurobindo wrote:) I have always disapproved of sadhaks retiring entirely and shutting themselves up like that. It tends to bring about a morbid inner condition.
Q: I write all this, but have you time to go through all these restlessness?
A: I read them always.
Q: Did you write that I would live for the Divine, merely to encourage me?
A: No, I wrote that to you because I thought so.
Q: Is it very necessary to feel the atmosphere of others?
A: It is preferable not to feel it as long as one has not acquired the power to set right all adverse vibrations.
Q: Is it necessary to know the nature of the people with whom one may have to talk, in order to be on guard?
A: Evidently, when one mixes with people, it is preferable to know what they are.
Q: I want you to lead me hand in hand. I know it is difficult, but I want it at any cost.
A: In that cause you are sure to have it, sooner or later.
Do not torment yourself; all will come in its time.
Q: My condition grows from bad to worse. I cannot place a single step forward.
A: At times, when one is not satisfied with oneself that is the moment when one makes the most progress.
Q: Would you tell me why my progress has stopped? Formerly I used to feel your Presence constantly.
A: I have already explained to you that the first contact with the Force gives the psychic being the power to dominate the consciousness and govern the being. But little by little, the other parts (mental, vital and physical) resume their old activities and the good condition gets veiled. One must resolve, with persistence, to recover it.
Q: Tell me what I must do to become like a child.
A: In the child the psychic life is not veiled by the mental life; being not formed he has great power to grow and progress in sufficient plasticity.
Q: What is "child path" in yoga?
A: The child's path is one of trust without discussion, complete dependence, surrender without reserve.
Q: Did my psychic being ever have the power to control and govern my being and dominate the consciousness?
A: Yes, partially—from time to time.
Q: Do you think much ego is expressed in my movements and also pride?
A: The physical consciousness is always full of pride and ego.
Q: Do you think it good for me to take the path of the child?
A: The path of the child is always preferable, but it is not so easy because it should be taken spontaneously and in all sincerity.
Q: My whole being offers resistance; there is nothing on the surface that can love and trust in thee.
A: I think you exaggerate; it is not as bad as that.
Q: Is it not true that I live mostly in the physical consciousness?
A: Mostly, yes, but not always.
Q: Is it from the subconscient that all this obscurity arises?
Q: I call thee, come and lift me up from this depression. I know it is the vital; it should not spread the depression.
A: I do not see any reasonable cause for this sadness; to me it appears an unreal thing, a kind of false imagination that has taken hold of you. Reject all — forthwith.
Yes, it is the vital that delights n its depression.
Q: How to prevent the vital from this pastime? It does not listen.
A: Strengthen your will.
Q: Can you not, please, pacify my vital and make it understand the truth?
A: So often it has been pacified, but each time it has shaken off the peace as a cloak of ennui.
Q: How to strengthen my love so as to conquer all desires and impulses that hinder my progress?
A: Concentrate on the psychic consciousness.
Q: Is it a want of confidence that delays the conversion of the vital?
A: Yes, undoubtedly.
Q: May I forget myself and become a simple, humble, plastic being who can be easily led! When will that be?
A: Soon, if your will to be that is persistent.
Q: Today I have understood that there are two Wills: one the divine Will and the other, the will as the human individual mother.
Q: The latter permits desires and satisfactions; the divine Will permits only such activities as are based on the divine Presence. Thus you have two wills.
A: It is absolutely false.
Q: All passes like a dream which ought to happen for a happier future.
A: Yes, you are right. This is how things pass here.
Q: Who observes that all passes like a dream?
A: The mental witness.
Q: Is it true that I have an ego to be a guru?
A: There is something of it somewhere in the vital mind.
Q: Do I understand whether my actions are according to thy will or contrary to it?
A: At times you discern correctly, at times you mistake.
Q: Where is your presence which I want so much? Once you were in my heart but now, in my blindness, I see you not. But you are there no doubt, when will the veil disappear? I look for you, but I do not find you.
A: Yes, you are right. I am there in your heart always but something in the external consciousness is too active, makes too much noise for you to be conscious of this presence. It is only in silence and tranquility that you can belt come aware of it.
Q: Is there any path on which one does not have to make effort at all?
A: I do not think so; but there are persons who make effort in a natural way without attaching much importance to it.
Q: By whom do you think I have been influenced?
A: By nobody in particular, but by all kinds of movements and passing forces.
I did not say persons, I said movements and forces and in order to free yourself from them you must enter into the consciousness where these forces are perfectable.
Q: May I do embroidary in my free time? It interests me.
A: No, it is not a men's job.
Q: Though it is veiled now, the fact remains that I am your child and you are my mother. My heart has to open. Is it not so?
A: Surely, I am always there to help you and to lead you on the path.
Q: My mind refuses to believe unless it understands well.
A: That is the trouble—that it does not understand.
Q: Some part of my being refuses to believe blindly; it wants to understand. That is why! ask so many questions.
A: Very often, on the contrary, your questions are entirely unreasonable and if you were to reflect a little, you would not need to ask them.
Q: To will and to aspire^ how to do both at the same time?
A: If you cannot do both things at a time, do only one.
You can write to me always whatever you think,: but you must know that I answer when it is useful; you should not feel annoyed if at times I do not answer.
Q: I do not understand what is called intellectual faith. Faith has no reason and intellect is always reasoning.
A: It is not intellectual but mental. The mental being has a faith, and the vital being also can have its faith as well as the physical being. As for the psychic being, its faith is natural and spontaneous; faith is the very essence of the psychic being.
There is only one faith, but it manifests in the different parts of the being. I suppose what the person you speak of means by the name blind faith is the faith in the heart, the one that does not need reasons for its existence. But there is also a faith in the mind which can be based on reasoning. In order to be certain of an unshakable faith one must have it in all the parts of the being.
Faith is an expression of a spiritual quality.
Q: Is self-confidence a low thing?
A: All depends upon the person who has the self-confidence.
Q: I shall make an effort to raise myself; you are there and hence I could succeed.
A: Yes, with a calm and regular effort, you are sure to succeed.
Q: Sri Aurobindo has written in a letter: "Consciousness is a reality inherent in existence." What does existence mean? Sat? Or material existence?
A: Existence is existence—there is no need to put in adjectives. (Sri Aurobindo)
Q: What obscurity! Everything goes wrong. But what is the use of shrinking? There must be an inner change; failing that, a calm, an aspiration.
A: Yes, exactly. You must constantly aspire for the inner change; you must will that the obscure physical mind gets enlightened; you must await with calm the result of this aspiration and will.
(I once wrote to Sri Aurobindo that I wish to get replies from him just as I was getting from the Mother. He mote:)
Mother's writing is equivalent to mine. There is no difference.
Q: It looks my vital and physical will never resolve to turn towards thee.
A: That, however, is what ought to be.
Q: I have tried for long but nothing succeeds.
A: You must try again till it succeeds.
A few letters answered by Sri Aurobindo:
Q: How were the sastras written? By whom? Did yogis write them from their imagination? How did they calculate the several lakhs of years of the Kaliyuga, the Satyayuga to follow and so on.
A: I don't know that it was any yogi who made that calculation.
Q: After how many years do you expect the reign of Satyayuga on earth
A: I don't bother my head about it.
Q: Do you think there was ever a Satyayuga upon earth?
A: Perhaps—or upon some earth.
Q: Is it desirable. Mother, that I write all these?
A: It is not very necessary.
Q: When can. faith manifest in the vital and the physical?
A: When they are converted, that is when they turn towards the Divine.
Q: Is your action always in the subconscient?
A: Not necessarily; that depends upon the receptivity of each.
Q: My consciousness is always in the vital and the physical, rarely on the mental domain, never in the psychic.
A: The picture is a little sombre, but there is some truth in what you say.
Q: When can the mind, vital and physical turn towards thee?
A: Tomorrow, even today, if they take the resolution.
Q: You said that the picture is a little sombre; does it mean I have not expressed well that what I said is not clear?
A: No, I mean to say that you are a little pessimistic.
Q: How to come out of this gross inertia?
A: There is only one way, to concentrate on the psychic.
What you call "affection" is only a movement of vital attraction having no deeper basis in the psychic. And when the vital sees that it is not going to get what it desires, it is no more interested in the undertaking.
To open to me, you must have great sincerity in the aspiration for it to be effective.
At present your aspiration is only in a part of your mind and that is why it is not effective enough. To be effective it must come from the quiet depths of the heart.
The heart of which I speak is not the surface heart; it is the seat of deep sentiments. It is true there was a time when you were in contact with it and at that time you felt the love and the aspiration that are always present in it. It is not the love that has dried up; it is your consciousness that has moved to the surface.
Go within yourself and light up there the sacred flame.
My help is always with you; you must learn to receive it and utilise it.
Q: My nature looks like becoming more and more complex, less sincere. Why is it so?
A: As the mind develops, the simple and pure sincerity of the child disappears. One must replace it by a sincerity more conscious, more spiritual — the psychic sincerity.
Patience is one of the most necessary conditions for spiritual life. One must learn to wait in order to receive.
One can always rise again with a will to do it.
Yes, for some months, with some short and rare exceptions, your consciousness is established in a most material and half-conscient domain. It is that which prevents you from becoming aware of my love and help which are always with you.
A: It is not shifted, it is there in a most natural way as that of most human beings. It is when the consciousness rises above the material plane that it becomes exceptional.
My dear child, be assured of my help and my force; they always accompany you on the path which leads to your soul. With my Blessings.
My dear child, it is within yourself that you ought to find the peace, the silence and the solitude; and in that solitude you will become conscious of my presence. My Blessings are with you.
Q: O my Mother, where art thou?
A: Always in the depths of your heart.
Q: How can I recover thee, thy presence?
A: Yes, if you let burn in you the fire of aspiration.
It is by throwing in the fire all one's difficulties, all desires, all imperfections that one keeps it burning. Morning and evening when you come to see me you should pray in your heart, "Keep the fire burning", and offer to me all these things like combustibles. My blessings are with you, dear child.
Q: Sweet Mother, I offer all my imperfections, desires and difficulties; pray accept them. I surrender all to thee.
A: My dear child, I accept your offering and use it to light in you the flame of progress.
Q: I think I need to retire into some solitude so that the flame could burn more intensely.
A: It is in activity that the fire ought to burn in order that it may rectify all movements.
Q: Keep the fire burning. Mother, I offer to thee all my movements.
A: As long as you aspire to keep the fire burning, I shall watch so that it does not get extinguished at all.
Q: When shall I get the solitude in which I may find thee? Where is the peace and silence by which I can get detached
A: This solitude is to be found within yourself.
Q: Light up the fire, O Mother, light up the fire so that it may burn out all that is false.
A: My Blessings are like a flame in your heart.
Q: It looks the flame is extinct. Thy Blessings are indeed always there but I am blind to receive them.
A: Certainly, if you constantly do things I do not want, how can you remain open and how can the flame burn?
Be according to your heart and your aspiration; but take care to see that your vital does not react with dissatisfaction and revolt.
It is not for you to light the flame. As I have told you, I light it always; yon have only open yourself to receive it and maintain it with your good will.
Q: How to get rid of this attachment?
A: Do not attach too much importance to it, it will pass by itself if your eyes are fixed on the Divine Consciousness you want to attain.
Q: All desires, attachments, impurities are to be thrown in the fire like fuel.
A: Yes, it is good that way. One must repeat this movement constantly. My help and blessings are with you.
I am always there before you, open your eyes and you will see.
A moment of true good will on the part of the vital and alt will become very much easy.
It is impossible to mix with someone without at least an exchange of influence taking place.
To cut off brusquely a relation and to want to react too violently against attachment, with a mental will that is not fully supported by the vital consent, always brings grievious reaction. One must leave it to time to do its work.
Yes, you can stop going there. But you must not again change your mind tomorrow for all these incertitudes weaken the will.
In all effort that you make to progress, you can always be assured of my help and blessings.
Keep to your resolution with calm and all the difficulties will disappear.
Your subconscient identifies itself particularly with that of the persons you mix with and that is why they have so much influence over you. The only remedy is to increase your consciousness and turn it more and more towards the Divine.
Q: Is it a fact that there is a period when the good parts of the being recede and only the lower ones remain on the surface making one feel fallen, obscure and forgetful of good experiences?
A: There are people in whom such a thing takes place, but it is not inevitable and certainly not desirable.
You are right, my dear child, those who are not happy here cannot be happy anywhere.
Q: When will I regain thy presence? I cry from my heart.
A: Do not torment yourself, it will surely come back.
It is perhaps wise not to give such advices because people do not listen to them.
Q: What attitude should I have when I come to you?
A: When you come to me, you must be peaceful and open.
Q: How to detach myself from the melancholy that comes from inside?
A: Not to attach importance to it.
Q: Is suffering inevitable in yoga?
A: Surely, suffering is not indispensable, not even necessary. It is in fact ignorance which makes one suffer.
Yes, this yoga is built upon peace and joy, not on suffering.
Ignorance always lacks humility. The more the mind is ignorant, more it judges and more it revolts.
Q: You did not find in me the love and calm you had hoped for?
A: I believe truly that there is still much to be done so that you become truly calm and quiet; but I do not say that you have-not made progress towards this realisation.
At the core of all revolts by people who revolt, there is a fall in obscurity -and falsehood.
Q: I saw you in dream embracing me. Was it an imagination?
A: In spirit I always hold you in my arms like a little child, to help you and protect you.
Q: When will you hold me actually in thy arms, so that I may rest wholly outside foreign influence?
A: I do not think you expect me to hold you in my arms physically. If I were to hold all my children in my arms (to begin with the 140 in the Ashram), truly my body would have to be much larger than it is!
However, to an awakened consciousness my presence is absolutely concrete.
Q: What should be my aspiration at present?
A: To be more and more sincere and pure.
Q: What do you think of my faith? I believe I have very little and that too in a part of the mind.
A: I do not think it necessary to dissert on these things. One must live them more and more sincerely in a constant aspiration.
Q: Would you give me some advice for concentration?
A: Will to concentrate and strengthen your will.
Q: I want to rise above this ordinary consciousness and soar towards thee.
A: Keep this aspiration and you will always find my help on the path.
It may be that I do not say all that I think, but all that I say I do think.
As for cure, it can come only by the growth of consciousness and will. It will be done in its own time.
I am always with you in the silence of your heart.
Q: I am conscious of things, but have not the force to surmount them.
A: That is because in you the consciousness is more developed than the will.
You will always do well to write to me what you feel.
If one were to mix only with those who are perfectly. sincere, one's relations would be very limited.
I do not wish to intervene because I am not sure that you will have the strength and constancy to do continually what I ask you to do. And for the spiritual life it is preferable to act in ignorance rather than act in disobedience to the order of one's guru.
Do not torment yourself. That will come to be one day for you aspire for it so much. Meanwhile my help and blessings are with you.
As you say very well, each must mind his own things and his relations with me and not at all what others do or do not do; for the affairs of others concern none.
Q: How to come out of this chaos?
A: Make your aspiration more and more sincere and integral.
Everything will come in its time.
Q: May this month of my birthday be for me....
A: The beginning of a life truly sincere.
Q: What do you mean by a life truly sincere?
A: To conform all actions to one's highest aspiration and purest will.
Q: Free, free, free. Today I feel less tied to my nature; I do not know what is going on. Would you please explain?
A: It is always better to let the experience establish itself in silence and tranquillity.
Q: Why do hostile suggestions have so Strong an effect on me?
A: They have the same effect on all who receive them.
The very tone of what you write shows that you are making a vital effort big enough. But I do not see any inconvenience in your making the effort and my force is always with you to help you to do it with success.
A sentimental attachment is an affective attachment— a vital attachment is a sensual attachment. By this expression I mean: to exchange tender words or sensual gestures, like holding the hand, caressing etc.
Q: May my consciousness turn inward?
A: That is, indeed, quite indispensable.
Q: Do you trust that what I would say to you is without hypocrisy?
A: I truly wish that you are not hypocrite, for hypocrisy is a big obstacle on the spiritual path.
I do not think it good to give up effort. It resembles very much a defeat. What one cannot do today one is sure to be able to do one day, if one persists in the effort.
The first condition is to keep the mind calm and peaceful. It is in calm that the light can descend.
Don't you believe there is a great deal of imagination in all this? For, truth to tell, I do not feel you more distant today than on other days.
Q: It looks to me that I should become a little more selfish.
A: Not more selfish but more strong — less influencable by the will of others. These ladies wanted to go there and you did what they wished; you ought to have asked yourself: "Is it the will of the Mother that I should obey thus?"
Q: I admit it is my mistake that has brought about this ill-turn. I beg pardon.
A: It is not a big calamity and on your part it was rather a thoughtlessness than a fault. Do not be "too sad". That is not a good preparation to see me on the occasion of your birthday. On the contrary you must be full of energy to discard from your life hereafter all that hinders you in approaching the Divine. My special blessings for this day,—May 22, 1936.
Q: You will strengthen my will?
A: Indeed, your will must become more and more consecrated and firm.
Q: I am still ignorant, I am nothing, I know nothing.
A: My help is always with you and also the force to surmount the weaknesses and difficulties. But you must know how to receive and utilise that.
Q: Where am I? How changed am I? Is life this?
A:It is not a question of life but a question of yoga and for that the indispensable basis is calm and tranquillity in the mind and the vital. It is to that you must work hard.
Q: I am going to try my best to achieve detachment.
A: Certainly that looks to me indispensable enough if you wish to be able to do yoga.
Q: Each day I make the effort, I see that unfortunately there is opposition to that effort.
A: If there were no reactions, you would not need to make effort.
I do not see any reason why all this procession of miseries should accompany you and I think it preferable not to dramatise an incident, which, after all, has nothing dramatic in itself.
Q: How to lift up my lower consciousness towards the higher?
A: I have already told you that the first condition is to
* quiet the mind and to make effort for the vital also to be peaceful.
In any case it is always wiser to discard from oneself all that pulls the consciousness downward.
Q: May I receive your help?
A: Yes, may you receive it and utilise it as one must.
Q: I aspire to receive your help.
A: My help is always with you, but to receive and profit. by it, there must be sincerity and stability in the will.
Q: I am unhappy, I cannot control my movements, what shall I do?
A: Be sincere, always more sincere.
Q: Would you make me conscious of my insincerities?
A: Sincerity exacts that you confess immediately without ®y needing to question you.
Yes, in continuing to do what you know very well ought not to be done, you harden yourself and more and more veil your consciousness.
Q: I believe that the will to uplift myself is persistent, I must be patient.
A: It is of utmost importance that this will should assert ' and triumph. It is absolutely necessary.
Q: Make me free, free. Uplift me above all impulse and all desire and give me the psychic consciousness.
A: I want, as you, do, that you come out of this confusion and that you make the inner discovery of your psychic being.
It is necessary, indeed, that the consciousness turns towards spiritual life in an exclusive way.
Q: Yesterday morning while reading this notebook there was a depression in a part of the being. Would you tell me why and in which part?
A: Perhaps your physical mind was not satisfied with my answer.
Q: I am not sure if the passion has been chased out from the vital or it is hiding somewhere below to surge up at any moment.
A: It is always wiser to be on guard.
As long as the vital is not converted and at least partially transformed, there will always be struggles.
Q: Do you think my central being is acting according to the suggestions of the vital?
A: The central being does not act, it is the external physical that does.
Q: Is the psychic influence no more in the mind?
A: Undoubtedly, the psychic influence is there, but it is not strong enough to control your movements and actions.
Q: Do you think that the mental purusha which had once opened is now closed due to lowering in consciousness?
A: Let us hope not.
Q: Tell me frankly if my mental purusha is not veiled.
A: I think that in constantly yielding to vital impulsions you have veiled your consciousness much. But it is not irredeemable and with a persistent goodwill and persevering (fort you will come out of this obscurity.
Q: I think my mental being was at one time under the influence of the psychic. But now there is not a single psychic action.
A: This kind of inquest is not of much use. What must be done is to react against the bad movement and put oneself again in contact with the psychic.
Q: Why is it easier to love a human being than the divine?
A: I do not see that it is easier. It depends upon the persons. The difference is that what men call "love" when it concerns another human being is not love at all but a frightful mixture of sentimentality, egoism, weakness, ignorance and sensuality. Evidently such a sentiment cannot be addressed to the divine.
Every effort to remove the veil is sure to yield result and little by little the consciousness will awake if the effort is continued.
Certainly you are very much weak in the presence of vital movement. You ought to detach yourself from them, look upon them from above and impose upon them the will of your higher consciousness.
Q: My nights are almost blank and even a little noise wakes me up completely and I have fear.
A: It is ridiculous to have fear, you are not a baby.
Q: Today I thought: Why am I on earth?
A: All these are absurdities you have to reject far from you without giving them the least importance.
Q: I must recover sincerity, fidelity, obedience and psychic influence,
A: Yes, it is a very good and very useful resolution. My force is with you to realise it.
Q: I want to rise to my higher consciousness and lift myself above the lower nature.
A: Persist in this attitude which is good and more and more you will be able to receive my force and help and to utilise them. My blessings are with you.
Q: Is? it possible to receive your help and yet utilise it ill or not at all?
A: Yes, even that happens very often.
Q: Would you explain?
A: Online receives the force and the power that I give and uses it to o satisfy one's own desires instead of utilising them in service of the Divine.
There must be great vigilance in order not to fall into
Movements of the power consciousness; and there must be a will still greater in order to come out of it. Hence arm yourself with patience and will.
Q: It is too painful. Do a miracle so that I may completely detach myself from the vital movements, may receive none of the impulsions of that nature.
A: Do not make a mountain of such a little trifle; later you will laugh at this adventure — which you take so tragically at the moment — when a little more light and consciousness will have penetrated your lower vital.
Q: Yesterday I was mad, nothing interested me; it was not imagination. Was it all a mental formation?
A: I find all that completely ridiculous and quite out of proportion to the circumstances.
Q: Then why all these reactions?
A: Because the vital has the fancy of contradiction. If I had said to it: You ought not to and never can leave P. it would have only thought of one thing — to flee far from P.
Q: Is there nothing wrong in such terrible reactions taking place by forcing me to detach myself?
A: Do not exaggerate like that. These reactions are terrible only if you think them to be such. Correct your thought, see up to what point all this is childish and unimportant, and all those "terrible" reactions will disappear at once.
Q: How do you say that all this is completely ridiculous while I felt it absolutely real?
A: It was the pretended folly that was ridiculous not the fact that you were conscious of it.
Q: Would you tell me why the vital produced this physical sickness, fever?
A: It had no intention, the illness was simply a consequence of the vital depression.
Q: You wish that I do not frequent P. So if the vital flees from P. so much the better; instead of attachment there will be detachment.
A: No, the flight is the reverse of attachment, not its cure
Q: I can neither go to P. nor detach myself from P. nor be without thought of P.
A: You have done well to score this paragraph, for it was all stupid. If your attempt to detach adds to your attachment, it shows that the effort is badly done, in a false way and without sincerity, and you have only to learn to do it better.
Sincerity: One can be perfectly so only when one is completely conscious. But keep up your will to be more and more perfectly sincere — and all will be well.
Q: Could you tell me what thought you had when you received my report?
A: I thought that your physical mind is terribly stupid and impertinent.
Q: Has it been always so or it has become like that?
A: No, it has always been so.
One must have a great detachment and much discernment to know that one's physical mind is stupid.
Q: It has become very difficult not to yield to the vital. You alone can save me. It is dangerous.
A: No, no and no.
These are adverse suggestions to which you shall not listen
Q: Yow see well how these suggestions have taken place in me and to undo them and rise above these movements has become a big problem.
A: That also is an illusion. If you think the contrary ("I am free, I have no attachments") with enough persistence, the problem would be soon solved.
Q: Do you believe I have become inferior? Or rather all these things were already in me but I was not aware of them?
A: One always carries in oneself the germ of all that one is and doss. But this germ can die before it is hatched and that is what ought to happen to undesirable things.
Q: Is it that all the higher parts are veiled by the lower and what one /has gained is not lost but is always there behind?
A: Yes, exactly.
Q: O Mama, open my heart closed for long and make the peace, the love the happiness flow and the force necessary to accomplish your divine will.
A: The great secret is to think correctly according to the deep truth.
Q: I aspire for thy grace to come and uplift me from the ordinary consciousness towards spirituality.
A: For the Grace to help you, you must fulfil the conditions and the first of them is to reject all doubt, however small it be. I repeat to you again you will do well to read again, with care and attention, the first two chapters of The Mother.
Q: Now I understand the surrender I have to make, but something in me refuses to surrender.
A: Remain firm in your will, use persuasion and, little by little, the revolting part will yield. It is by ignorance that it refuses to submit. This ignorance must be dissolved.
Q: Would you tell me which are the parts that have not yet surrendered or perhaps none has done so.
A: No, there are parts which have begun their surrender and that will go on increasing in every way.
Q: Would you tell me what still remains to be done to regain the right attitude so that the Grace may come again?
A: Be quiet and have confidence in the Grace. It is always there ready to help those who call it with a sincere heart.
Q: As long as I am in my room I am calm; but once I go out for work my mind gets agitated.
A: When you do your work you must attend your work only and not the people; you have no need to talk to them or busy yourself with them.
Q: I embrace you dear mama, before I go to bed.
A: I bless you, my dear child.
Q: O Divine Grace, come and help me, make me strong.
A: Yes, my help is with you and I want you to be strong and calm.
Q: Since morning I see that my consciousness is turned outwards. May thy Grace, come and lift me above ignorance and falsehood.
A: Do not worry yourself, persist in your effort to turn inward and you are sure to succeed.
Q: It looks to me that this time the physical consciousness does not turn towards Thee. I tried to remain calm. May thy Grace come and uplift me from the ordinary consciousness towards the psychic.
A: Yes, remain calm with perseverance and with a quiet aspiration towards the true Consciousness, you are sure to succeed if you keep this attitude.
Q: I want only one thing: the consciousness and the accomplishment of thy will. O Mother, I am yours and you will do what you choose of this being who aspires to be yours.
A: Very good—persist in this attitude and you are sure of victory.
Q: Does the universal justice hamper us when we try to rise above the universe?
A: In a certain manner, yes. Certainly to rise above the universe one must be entirely freed from this justice for it forms part of the universe.
Q: Can it be that kindness is received ill?
A: Yes, that is exactly what happens most often with human beings.
Q: By what forces is the universal justice supported!?
A: By the universal nature.
Q: Enlighten my physical consciousness so that it obeys thy will.
A: That you have begun to be a little more conscious is already a sign that the Light can transmit its influence on the external consciousness.
Q: Several parts are in revolt, but my effort continues, one day I will have the victory.
A: Certainly, you must persist in the effort and the victory cannot fail to come.
Q: May the heart unfold itself and the soul become visible. Would you do that?
A: My force is on you so that it may be granted.
Q: O Mother, I call Thee. May Thy force come and uplift me from the ordinary consciousness towards the higher. I await Thy grace for; it seems to me that alone can lift me up. A: It is good to count on the Grace but the aspiration has to be intense and constant.
Q: O Mother, when shall I see thee in my heart?
A: Keep this aspiration very living and, surely, it will not delay.
Q: O my beloved, teach me to love Thee truly.
A: True love is to forget oneself.
Q: Sweet Mother, here are my ideas: He who tries to help others without being thy worthy instrument insults Thee.
Q: He who before loving thee truly tries to love others deceives himself.
Q: Is it true that there is no harm in one's taking help from another if he cannot approach you directly?
A: I cannot answer in a general way, it depends entirely on cases.
Q: Is it not that one should try to approach you and wait till you are reached instead of seeking help elsewhere?
A: Evidently that is wiser.
Q: Now I have come to believe that our idea of love for human beings must be got rid of; for at present it is not possible to have true and pure love and also it is not necessary.
Q: Mother, now I think neither of helping nor loving others.
A: That, indeed, is more prudent.
Q: I will do my best to be true to you in my words.
A: In your thoughts and actions also, I hope.
Q: Would you tell me why my inner vision does not grow further? As before, I see only forces in movement, inform of vibrations.
A: This kind of growth is not always constant. Surely that will come later on.
Q: I do not feel you within my heart but I see you above me. If my feeling is not imagination, would you tell me the difference between feeling you within the heart and above oneself?
A: No, it is not false.
In the heart it is a psychic contact, above the head it is mental.
Q: Would you tell me in what part of the mind is your presence? What is the difference in the effect of your presence in the heart and above the body?
A: The higher mind—no difference in its effect.
Q: Am I not wrong in thinking I am far away from thy Grace? Am I not already under it? Without thy grace how could I feel thy presence?
A: Certainly you are wrong in thinking that you are far from the Grace.
The external consciousness has difficulty in keeping up the fire of aspiration burning always, with the same intensity. But, with will, one must watch over the purifying fire and reawaken it when it slumbers.
Q: Is it not true, O Mother, that I love you? I know that my love is neither pure, nor perfect, nor integral. A: Yes, it is true, you love me; and you learn to love me better and better, more and more. It is this love that will open for you the door of identification.
Q: Is there room for reason in true love?
A: They can be together in some but generally they do not have much to do with each other.
Q: Mother, do you believe I have emotion?
A: Everyone has more or less.
Q: Is love like the tide and ebb of the sea, like emotion?
A: Vital love, yes, but not the psychic love which is invariable.
Q: Is it not true that one can feel thy presence even before having psychic love for thee?
A: It is the psychic above all that feels the Presence. But at times also the mind and the vital and even the physical perceive it.
* To develop a philosophic mind you must methodically study philosophy, the different schools, their theories etc.
One must not do good in order to get a reward but for the pleasure of doing it. Then one is happy always whatever may happen.
It is not impossible to feel the Presence without having the psychic love. But that must be a rare case.
The extent to which you have love for me, it can only be the psychic love, but it is mixed in the external consciousness with mental and vital movements.
Q: Do you think my psychic love is never manifest without mixture?
A: The psychic being would have to become the absolute master of the entire being; when that comes to be, the consciousness can no more be veiled.
Q: What is that part in me that does not love you and appears indifferent to you? A: It is the superficial consciousness which is generally occupied only with itself and hence closed to all that is not itself.
Q: My ideal of faith: to arrive at such a point that if you were to say it is midnight when it is midday it believes.
A: Evidently that is faith.
Q: What is it that has exhausted my love, happiness and peace?
A: The vital.
Q: What does the vital want? Why does it strike at my happiness?
A: The vital has no reason, it is absolutely unreasonable.
Q: Is it that all love and happiness that one has before the absolute mastery of the psychic being is always vital?
A: In any case always mixed.
Q: How can the vital be made reasonable?
A: In the same way as a child, by education
Q: Is it good that I only study, and do not concentrate?
A: Yes, that is good. If you concentrate in the morning at pranam, in the evening during meditation, that is sufficient.
Complete and pure faith in the Truth is the best of all protections.
Q: Do you think there is in me a part that has complete and pure faith in the Truth?
A: Let us hope so.
Q: Which is that?
A: That can only be psychic.
Q: At times it appears that we have known you for ages, at times as if you were a stranger. A: They are two different consciousnesses, one deep, the other superficial.
Q: Explanation of the flower "disinterested work":
A: This flower means exactly all work done in all sincerity in consecration to the Divine.
A: Certainly one must not worry oneself about it, but one must want to progress
Q: What must I do to find out that you love me?
A: To give more importance to love than to being loved.
Q: Today you gave me the flower "psychic flame". I do not fully follow what you want to tell me by it.
A: "Agni" is the will to progress, the flame of purification that burns away all obstacles and all difficulties. In giving you the flower I encourage you to let this burn in you.
Q: Today you gave me the flower "psychic centre". What did you want to convey?
A: It is to encourage you to make an effort for awakening the contact with the psychic being.
Q: Today you gave the flower "psychic centre" but at present I aspire only for the Divine Grace. How to do both the things at the same time?
A: To follow the sadhana, one must do, if necessary, a dozen things at a time.
Q: Today you gave the flower "supramental light in the subconscient” What do you mean to tell me?
A: The conscious light must penetrate into the subconscient.
Q: Mother, do not leave me and see that I do not leave you. From where do these prayers come?
A: The first prayer comes from an emotional part of the mind, the second (which is truer) comes from a part of the mind open to the psychic light.
Q: What did you mean to tell me in giving me the flower "protection"?
A: The protection is there. It is therefore for you to know how to profit by it.
Q: Mother, is there truly suffering in our yoga Those who suffers they suffer because of difficulties in yoga?
A: No. They suffer, generally, because of want of sincerity.
Q: Or perhaps, they suffer because they invent suffering. They want to satisfy something by suffering.
A: Yes, that also happens.
Q: All suffering in this yoga looks to me imaginary.
Q: What is it that suffers? The vital? Because one does not satisfy desires?
A: Most often. But it manages to suffer even when desires are satisfied.
Q: If one understands the cause of suffering, suffering is no more A: Exactly.
Q: It is by our stupidity that we suffer. A: Generally, it is so.
A: You come to me thinking almost exclusively of yourself.
Q: Is it natural or do I think of myself because I am too egoistic?
A: In the ordinary life, that is perfectly natural, it is extremely rare to be otherwise.
Q: Does my whole external being think of itself only?
A: Relates all to itself, and ego-centric. Does not deal with things in themselves but with them as related to itself.
Q: I had believed that I was not so egoistic. A: The whole physical nature everywhere and in all, is thoroughly egoistic till it is spiritualised — that is rare.
Q: I thank you very much for telling this to me. And I believe it is for this reason that I see you indifferent, that I do not see your love.
A: Surely, instead of thinking of the love I give you or which you would like me to give you, if you were to think of the love you wish to have for me, you would be more open and receptive.
Q: I think it is only your grace that can teach me to forget myself and think only of you.
A: You must also exert your will.
Q: Today I feel fatigued though I have slept well.
A: Probably it is because you have done fatiguing things during the sleep.
Q: Would you say what kind of fatiguing things?
A: Fatigue in the body is a physical transcription that comes from certain activities and contact in the vital. One can, during one's sleep go to the worst places of the vital and meet very bad beings.
Q: Then, what should be my aspiration at present?
A: That the consciousness may grow, that you will affirm and that your consecration to the Divine become more and more sincere.
Q: I do not follow the construction: 'But certain that Thy will alone exists'. (Prayers and Meditations, 11.12.1912)
A: But as I am certain that Thy will alone exists.
Q: "Behind the veil is already heard the wordless symphony of gladness revealing Thy sublime presence." (P. and M., 11.12.1912) What does it signify?
A: Behind the appearances there exists a harmony of forces and movements which resembles an accord of all the diverse instruments in a perfect symphony.
Q: "And all leads towards Me, who am endless Peace, shadowless Light, perfect Harmony, Certitude, Rest and supreme Blessedness." (P. and M., 5.2.1913)
What does Certitude mean?
A: Faith confirmed by spiritual experience of that in which one has the faith.
Q: "In this simplicity lies the greatest power, the power which is least mixed and least gives rise to harmful reactions." (P. and M., 12.2.1913)
This simplicity cannot be good since it is mixed somewhat.
A: What can there be without mixture in the world such as it is presently? Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Q: "The power of the vital should be mistrusted for it gives you the taste of immediate results." (P. and M., 12-2-1913)
A: It is because we like immediate and visible results that we allow ourselves to be deceived by the vital.
Q: I think it is only by consciousness that one can come to understand the play of the vital and reject it by control and divine help.
Q: "As soon as I have no longer any material responsibilities, all thoughts about these things flee far away from me, and I am solely and entirely occupied with Thee and Thy service." (P. and M., 11-5-1913)
What is 'Thy service' when 'material responsibilities' are no longer there?
A: I wrote that because, for a time, I was not living at
mine but at my mother's and thus I had no more the responsibility of the mistress of the house who should see that all is well materially.
Q: "There in that perfect peace and serenity, I unite my will to Thine, and in that integral silence I listen to thy truth and hear its expression." I understand this to mean that only when one has perfect peace and serenity can he unite his will with Thine. And it is only in integral silence that one can hear the expression of Thy truth.
A: Yes, that is it.
Q: "It is by becoming conscious of Thy will and identifying , ours with Thine that there is found the secret of true liberty and all-puissance the secret of the regeneration of forces and the transfiguration of the being." What is the meaning of 'the secret of the regeneration of forces"?
A: The vital and material forces are perverted. They must be regenerated so that they may be capable of expressing the divine will.
Q: 'secret of the all-puissance': does it mean the secret of the force that is all-puissant?
Q: "To be constantly and integrally at one with Thee is to have the assurance that we shall overcome every obstacle and triumph over all difficulties, both within and without.” The inner difficulties, are those concerning the mind, vital and physical — is that right?
Q: External difficulties are those caused by material things.
Q: To be at one with Thee integrally means consent of all the being.
A: In harmony.
Q: "Thou fillest my being. Thou animates! it. Thou settest in motion its hidden springs." What are the hidden springs?
A: The springs mean the dynamic forces that give the impulsion of movement.
Q: Is there a difference between losing the "sense of separativity" and "identification"? (P. and M., 19-11-1912)
A: To lose the sense of separativity is the last stage before the identification and even in identification there are several stages.
Q: "When it is needful that something should be known, one knows it, and the more passive the mind to Thy illumination, the clearer and the more adequate is its expression." (P. and M., 3-12-1912) Mother, when will it be possible? It will be a wonderful thing when that happens.
A: It can take place only when one has given up all personal preference.
Q: "For now I should not be able to repeat what was said" (P. and M., 3-12-1912) Why does it happen so?
A: Because the memory belongs to the mind and it is not the mind which spoke, it was a consciousness coming from beyond.
Q: " Yes, we should not put too much intensity, too much effort into our seeking/or Thee.... We must not desire to see Thee:' (P. and M., 5-12-1912) Is this meant for all? I had thought all this must be done.
A: Certainly not. -
However, generally one must never try to reproduce my experiences. I started noting them after having attained communion with the Divine, a state to which you are far from having arrived.
Q: "And on earth now I am the joyful joyeux child at play.'1'1 (P. and M., 17-5-1914)
I think the "I" refers to you. Then why have you not said "joyeuse" (feminine)? A: You ought to know the Hindu tradition that the world is the result of "the play of the divine Child". It is with this One that I was identified.
Q: "I await, without haste, without inquietude, the tearing of another veil, the Union made more complete.'" (P. and M., 11-12-1912) Union between whom? Between you and the Lord of whom you speak?
A: Certainly it is the union with the Supreme that I spoke of.
Q: "I know that the veil is formed of a whole mass of imperfections, of attachments without number:' I believe this is the veil that exists between the Supreme and the obscure material world, but it has nothing to do with you.
A: To do my work I have been obliged to identify myself with the material world and its imperfections.
Q: In the Prayer 26-11-1912 you speak of having "almost entirely lost the gross illusion of 'me' and 'mine'. Even after this identification, the attitude does not completely let the divine act as He wishes!
A: In everything there are degrees and the perfection of one day does not any more seem perfection the next day.
Q: "How many times a day still, I act without my action being consecrated to Thee" (P. and M., 2-11-1912) Can one act-without consecration even after communion with the Divine?
A: Certainly, communion and consecration are very different things.
Q: But is it possible to have communion before consecration?
A: The part of being which has the communion is not the same that has no consecration.
Q: "Thou art there wherever there is need of Thee, and if they could have the supreme faith to give up seeking for Thee, but rather to await Thee.... Thou wouldst be there whenever there was need of Thee." (P. and M., 10-2-1913) Is that not for me?
A: It is for all — for you as for others — who are capable of taking the attitude with an integral sincerity; but I must say that it is still more difficult than to make the effort."
Q: "More and more I fail to make a distinction between Thy work and my life, between my personality and the whole earth:' (P. and M, 17-6-1913) Does it mean that the whole of your life had become a supreme work and that you had become the whole earth-— one with the earth?
Q: "Thy voice is so modest, impartial, sublime in its patience and its mercy that it does not make itself heard with any authority, any potency of will:, it is like a cool, soft and pure breeze, it is like a crystalline murmur that imparts a note of harmony to discordant concert." (P. and M., 27-6-1913) I do not understand what is this voice. And how to listen to it.
A: It is the voice of the Divine; by becoming silent.
Q: Is this the same voice that comes from the depths of the heart and guides men, shows the right path, prevents men from blinding themselves?
A: When the voice comes from the heart it can have the same divine origin, but it expresses through the psychic.
Q: Then does the voice of the Divine come directly to the being?
A: That can happen under certain conditions.
Q: "Although my whole being is in theory consecrated to Thee, Q Sublime, Master... I still find it hard to carry out this consecration in detail. It has taken me several weeks to learn that the reason for this written meditation, its justification, lie-s in the very fact of addressing it to Thee. In this way I shall put into material shape each day a little of the conversation I heave so often with Thee." (P. and M., 2-11-1912) How to have conversation with the Divine even when one has not consecrated practically one's being to the Divine?
A: Well! You will understand when that happens to you
Q: "Then are they ready to participate in the contemplation, and to identify Themselves with Thee in the supreme concentration .” (P. and M. 28-11-912)
What is the contemplation and supreme concentration?
A: You will understand it when you will have had the experience.
Q: "Thou art ourselves in our real being." (P. and M., 15-8-1913) I do not understand what 'our' reality signifies? I thought, there is only one Reality.
A: I use the word 'Reality' in the sense of the truth of the being.
Q: I believe if is in this truth that there is no division whatever between the Lord 'and ourselves.
A: That is exactly what I have said.
Q: "In truth, the essence of the impression that is felt in the presence of the most sweet, the most calm, the most compassionate smile, has a feeble analogy with what I feel when I so perceive Thee:' (P. and M., 8-8-1913) What is this smile? I think only the Divine can have such a smile.
A: Not the Divine but those who have a divine consciousness.
Q: What is the difference between having a divine consciousness and becoming one with the Divine?
A: I have not mentioned someone who becomes one with the Divine; I have spoken of the Divine himself because it is that which your sentence seemed to mean.
Q: "Thou who ever teachest me the lesson of love1'' (P. and M., 17-8-1913) Teach the lesson of love — does it mean how to love?
A: What is the true nature of love.
Q: "Is that not enough to cure us of all personal thoughts and to make us unfurl our wings and soar above the contingencies of the material life so that we can fly up into Thy divine atmosphere with the power to return as messengers to the earth and announce the glorious tidings of thy Advent which is near?" (P. and M., 17-8-1913) It is not clear to me to cure all personal thoughts one must soar into the divine atmosphere and immediately return — the idea is not clear.
A: It will become clear later with the beginning of experience.
Q: "It was necessary that all pride should be broken, crushed, trampled down definitively, so that I may at last be capable of understanding, seeing and feeling things as they are:' (P. and M., 7-10-1913) Is that sufficient (only the breaking up of pride)?
A: In this case it was sufficient.
Q: "I am on visit here as everywhere else." Visit of the Divine?
A: A visit of the Divine, yes...
Q: "Thy messenger and thy servant upon earth, a stranger among men, and yet the very soul of their lives and the love in their hearts." (P. and M) I do not understand the underlined words.
A: You will understand later when you will be more conscious.
Q: How is the soul" stranger in the life of men and to the love in their hearts?
A: I have not said such a stupidity.
Q: "In the unchanging solitude of the desert there is something of thy majestic presence, and I understand why one of the best means of finding thee has always been to retire into these immense plains of sand" (P. and M., 14.3.1914)
You understand; would you make me understand? A: In perceiving the "majestic presence", I understood.
Q: "This marvellous silence manifests Thee, in spite of the folly of human agitation, — the immutable and constant silence so living in everything that one has only to listen in order to hear it." (P. and M., 2.1.1914) I do not understand this.
A: When you will have the experience of silence, you will understand.
Q: "I know that a day will come when thou will transform all those who approach us." (P. and M., 11.1.1914) What does us signify?
A: If someone asks you will say you know nothing.
Q: "All the individual faculties slumber and the consciousness is not awakened in the transcendental states; that is to say, its awakening in them is intermittent and in between it is asleep:' (P. and M., 19.5.1914) Does it mean before the consciousness is awake in the transcendent state there is a period when it sleeps? How long does it sleep like this?
A: The consciousness sleeps in all till it is awakened— for a second or for eternity.
Q: Then I do not think you meant this. How could your consciousness have been asleep in 1914? A: Evidently not.
Q: Then what does it exactly mean?
A: There are experiences of universal order which can be revealed only to those who have had them.
Q: "Those who recognise thee not, those who know thee not, Those who..." (P. and M., 1.6.1914) Why is the third Those in capitals?
A: It is a misprint; it ought to be small t.
Q: "How many and different are the degrees of consciousness! This world should be reserved/or that which, in a being, is illumined by thy Presence, identifies itself with thee and participates in thy absolute Consciousness, for that which has knowledge, which is 'perfectly awakened', as says the Buddha." (P. and M., 13.3.1914) Does it mean that when one is illumined by thy presence and identifies with thee, there are no more degrees of consciousness for him?
A: I mean that the word consciousness must be reserved for one who is conscious of the divine Presence.
Q: "In a being"— Which being?
A: Does not matter which. Q: "Outside this state, there are infinite degrees of consciousness descending down to the complete darkness, the veritable inconscience which may be a domain not yet touched by the light of thy divine love (but that appears improbable in physical substance), or which is, by reason of some ignorance, outside our individual region of perception." What is this "veritable inconscience" you speak of?
A: The subconscient of the subconscient.
Q: "But the fugitive duration of this supreme consciousness can be explained only by the complexity of the elements of the being, by their inequality in the illumination and by the fact that they enter successively into activity." I do not follow.
A: Later when your brain will have formed a little more and you have a little more knowledge, you will understand what I mean to say.
Q: "Undoubtedly we must learn how to control our subconscient as we control our conscious thought. The means of arriving at it are numerous.... But there is certainly something more rapidly effective." (P. and M., 25.11.1913) What is that?
A: The descent of the supramental.
Q: "Thou hast sent me the struggle... I welcome it.... One of the best means of bringing back to light some element of the work which might otherwise have been forgotten." (P. and M., 22.6.1920) I do not follow.
A: It does not concern personally but the universal movements.
Q: "A few days back I had known, I had heard: 'If thou weepest frankly and without constraint before me, many things will change, a great victory will be won.' (P. and M., 12.7. 1918) Weeping here does not have the usual meaning, is it not?
Q: "The world is divided into two contrary courses which struggle for supremacy and both are equally opposed to thy law." (P. and M., 9.9.1914) Which are these forces?
A: If you had read the Meditations carefully you would not need to pose this question. The two forces are those of construction and destruction.
Q: "And if I always show myself to be at the height of what thou expectest from me, a day will come O Lord, when thou wilt be upon the earth, and the whole earth will rise against thee. But thou wilt take the earth in thy arms and it will be transformed. (P. and M., 17.1.1915) / do not understand.
A: Yes, it needs some more years of spiritual progress for you before you are able to understand.
Q: "May my consciousness be identified with thy consciousness so that thou alone mayst be the will acting through this fragile and transient instrument." (P. and M., 9.5.1914) Why do you call the instrument fragile and transient?
A: The instrument in question here is the earth which has a fugitive life in regard to the eternal consciousness.
Q: "All rules have vanished, the regularity of the discipline has disappeared, all effort has ceased; not by my own will, not, I think, by negligence either, but because the circumstances conspire to make it so. (P. and M., 23.4.1914) How does this happen? Because the Divine has taken possession and there is no more effort to be made?
Q: Does the Divine draw away from us?
A: No, it is we who draw away from Him.
Q: When you write "O Divine Force, Supreme Illuminator, listen to our prayers, do not draw away, do not retire, help us to combat..." what do you mean to say?
A: I spoke not to the Divine himself but to a Force, emanation of the Divine, descended to do a certain work on the earth and could have receded if it had seen that the work which it had come to do was impossible.